walking

Walking by faith. It's what we're supposed to do but what does that mean? I used to know so much. Do you ever feel that way? Now I think I don't know anything for sure. It's like people with no kids telling some one with a 2 year old how to raise them. Or a teenager. I worked on a construction crew in West Palm Beach building fancy mansions and sometimes an architect would design something on paper that couldn't be done in wood. We'd say "he obviously never picked up a hammer...". Sometimes life changes your perspective. Not the truth, Just how we look at it. Life is not "3 easy steps to..." , It's a curvy, winding road with hills and valleys and more pot holes that I could have imagined. The thing I would have had the hardest time imagining is that I would dig most of the pot holes!
So. Walk by faith. Most of the times I've heard this it concerns money. As in you don't have enough and these are the only spiritual words I have in my arsenal I can throw at you. It's mostly 'cause I'm not smart or wise enough to tell you how I would act in your situation.(and isn't this what discipleship is, telling some one what you've learned in dealing with similar situations?)
I remember in college I was gung ho for Jesus and I wanted to do every thing the bible said. Well, most of the stuff. I can still here myself praying "...and I want to trust You for daily needs. I want just what it takes to make it through today and we'll talk about the next day when it comes." I really did. I just wanted to be close to my DAD, to hear His voice,to see what He was doing. I wanted to do His stuff with Him. He meant a lot to me then.
But then I started to grow up. I got married. I had children. A car. A house. A JOB. As much as I had not wanted it in college, I was( and still am) stuck with the American dream. And I don't even have that much stuff!I've created this world for myself and family I guess because as an American it's what comes next after college. And it looks good on us. Shows we're on the "right" side of the tracks. But in pursuing this road I've turned from walking by faith to walking " by Mark". Whatever I can provide. And If I get in a pinch, I know God's got my back. Sheesh.
It's not comfortable for me to trust God. I want to you know it's just that my faith in my own abilities is stronger than the faith in my DAD. I've been exercising the wrong faith muscle. But I'd like that to change and I may have that opportunity at this point of my life.
Why is this on my mind? It really came about Jan. 1 on the Today Show. There was a story about a man (Joe Ades) who sold potato peelers on the streets of NYC. And he made a lot of money- selling $5 peelers. He had a Park Ave. apartment, ate in fine restaurants and hob-nobbed with the wealthy. But he spent what he earned very quickly. Asked if he was worried money for the future since he had none, He said no, that the exciting part of living was the challenge of getting up the next day and doing whatever it took to make a living. There was a gleam in his eye as he spoke. He had life!
I want there to be a gleam in my eye. A gleam when I tell someone about my faith in my DAD and his provision. His kindness to me. His caring of me and my family. I have an opportunity to exercise my faith muscle for a while. I really hope I do it and not rely on myself. Again. I kinda want to be like Joe Ades. Mostly though, I want to make my DAD proud.