I resisted the call of the doughnuts this morning at church. Walked right up to those boxes of hot Krispy Kremes and snubbed my nose at them. Turned my back on the boxes of chocolate covered, creme filled, jelly injected babies. No powered sugars for me. I am a man of integrity. A man of discipline. A man of strength. I'm also no fool. I could plainly see there was no limit. And no one watching. Well, one person but easily distractable.(there's a little red line under the word distractable. Does that mean it wasn't a word before now?)
Cake doughnuts are my favorite. Well, except for hot glazed. Tell me you haven't sat down and polished off a dozen with a 1/2 gallon of whole milk. But you're limited with those because you can only take one at a time and eat it which means you have to come BACK to get another which means you're back under the watchful eye of the doughnut guardian. They pretend like they've not seen you before as they smile and hand you another. But I know that THEY know I've been there before. And they're counting! I can see the wheels turning in their head. "Hey charity begins at home pal" I imagine myself saying. "So does gluttony" he imagines back. But the cakes are different.
Cake doughnuts are not messy. I discovered this in high school. On the way to school was an Albertsons grocery store that sold 10 doughnuts for a dollar. I know, crazy right? I also figured out I could fit 10 doughnuts in my jacket pocket if I lined them up right. So out I'd walk with 2 lbs. of heaven in my pocket. To be honest, it took me a couple of weeks to get it right because I tried it with chocolate covered, jelly, glazed, custard filled and various others. All to messy and sticky. The chocolate covered were the worst because if people see you pull your hand out of your clothing and it's covered in this brown goo, they jump to conclusions. Wont talk about that one. Turns out, cake doughnuts are perfect for clandestine portability.
The other benefit of cake doughnuts is this. When you burp, the flavor comes back up. And not, as you might expect, with a stomach acid taste mixed in. Just pure, unadulterated cake doughnut taste. It's the food that keeps on giving. And if you eat enough, say ...10, that flavor can last all day. My friends say they would see me all of a sudden get a smile in the middle of class and they knew. The doughnuts.
So this morning I resisted for a few minutes then decided one wouldn't hurt. (that's how it always starts isn't it?) Under the watchful eye "HEIR DOUGHNUT" I got my doughnut and a smile. And all of a sudden I couldn't stop. I had a small child spill a cup of juice to distract the people and I grabbed 4 and stuffed them in my pocket and away I went. When I got into church I had this guilty look on my face. Terri asked what's wrong and I said "nothing". OOOOPS! Crap. She got a whiff. Doughnut breath. Busted.
Well, when I do something like this I'm only cheating on myself. I was watching a movie last night, a true story about a man and wife who risked everything to save their children. The acting was good and you really believed they loved the kids. It made me want to be a better man. Do you ever do that? Go see a movie, go hear an inspirational speaker or preacher and you really get jazzed up and you say "I'm gonna be a better me"? I do that a lot. I get all emotional and cry, tell God tomorrow is gonna be different.
So I wake up and it's more of the same. What makes us do that? Or, don't do that? Why is it so hard to change? To be different? I don't know exactly. Lots of things I suppose. Too much to get into here. I just know that tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to be a better me. To be more like my DAD. A chance to let His character to shine through. I wont give up. I "press toward the mark...". I am a good son and proud to be His own. I plan on living in an honorable manner tomorrow. What else can I do? I love Him.
(to be clear, there is no "heir doughnut". We have wonderful people who give out doughnuts. No limit.Well, until now. for me)