I tried something new this week- thought I'd try reading the bible again. I wish I were more like the disciplined people who get up everyday and crack it open and get.....bored. I am ashamed to admit that sometimes I get nothing when I read it. It's like "same old same old" and I don't stick with it. Others do. Like my wife. I think she gets stuff. 'course she's a lot smarter than me. I know. Not a news flash. I think I'll stick with it for a while.....
My dad was a smoker. We hated it. We'd eat super fast at the dinner table because we had to beat dad. As soon as he finished he'd light up and we didn't want to get caught up in the cloudy haze of a couple of Winstons. I've got to hand it to my mom though...the house never smelled like smoke. She was a wizard at keeping the house clean and smelling fresh. As much as I hated smoking I tried it a few times. In 6th grade I saw this beautiful girl smoking- so sexy. So I went home and tried it. I didn't like it. It burned. And tasted awful. I tried again a few more times in my life...still gross.
I used to work as a maintenance man at a condo in Boca Raton while I was in college. There was this old Jewish lady that lived there who smoked like a chimney. She had to be like 180 yrs. old with that shriveled, puckered face of a long time smoker. She almost never came out of her apartment. Couldn't take the fresh air I guess. But when she did come out you could smell her a block away. Like an ashtray. Ever stand in line somewhere and the person in front or behind you reeks of smoke. I don't think they know. Well, the lady died. Complications from......a broken hip. (If cigarettes hadn't killed her by 180, they weren't going to). So another fellow and I went to clean and paint her condo. It was yellow with tar and nicotine and smelled so bad. She'd lived there for more than 20 years. Even the insides of the refrigerator were yellow. We cleaned with ammonia and started to paint. We came back and the walls we painted white were yellow again- the smoke bled right back through. Powerful stuff that nicotine.
I used the "where ever it opens " technique. I drop my bible on the table and start reading..... . I'll try other techniques as I go along. think I'll call it the "Drop-N-Plop". Today it opened to Psalms 139 and started there and got stuck on vs. 5 where it says " You hem me in-behind and before..." . There is a stop smoking commercial on tv now where a guy or girl walks around in a cloud of smoke and it's like they don't even know. But everyone else does. So this image is going through my mind and DAD says "that's you. Or could be you. I have surrounded you like that cloud of smoke. I hem you in- behind and before. And everyone notices". But what do they notice?
Have you ever met some one so like God that you feel like you just met Jesus? I've met a few and have left their presence and I feel like I smell like God. I've painted in smokers homes and when I come home Terri asks if I've started smoking. Being in the presence of smoke make me smell that way. That's the way I want it to be with my DAD. I want to have such a special friendship with him that there would be this mysterious cloud around me that everyone notices and says " Wow. That smells nice".
I think I'm found in a cloud of my own making though. I let too much of the world cover this work of art from my DAD has started. But He still seems to bleed through no matter what I cover myself with. I sure hope I can stop messing up His good work. I so want to smell like Him. Maybe I should Drop-n-Plop more....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
pick up sticks and spider webs
You know what I miss? Yard Darts. Wonder if I could find a set on E-Bay? I guess I understand why they quit selling them. But really, wasn't the potential danger of impaling yourself or your brother half the fun? It's like NASCAR. We don't really want to watch cars go in circles. We want to see 'em wreck ! They've made IT safe too. You know what else they've made safe? Pick up sticks. They're not pointed anymore, they've got round balls on the end. Stupid. How can you use one to help pick up another with a round ball on the end? Are we gonna cut the ends off tooth picks next? I liked to play with pick up sticks though. It was a good challenge and I felt good when I won. I once dumped 5 or 6 containers of pick up sticks out. I have ADD. I gave up. Too confusing.
I used to work at a construction company who's shop was in the woods. I really enjoyed working there. One of the fun thing there was the spiders. They were all over the place. The cool ones were the Garden Orb spiders. We called them Banana spiders 'cause they were shaped like a banana. They could get huge, like 3 or 4 inches ! I used to catch baby frogs and drop them in the web and the spiders go nuts. They zoom to catch the frog, wrap it up and start sucking it dry. Cruel and gross I know. Boys will be boys and I am one. In one barn there were spiders who seemed to congregate together. There would be a couple dozen in one spot and they'd have their webs all tangled with one another and I wondered how they could tell who's web was who's. So many threads interwoven.
My daughter Kara had a Ford Mustang for a few years and the head gaskets blew so it was up to me to fix it. I'm pretty mechanically inclined and had done a few head gaskets before so I dove right in. Then I dove right back out. But she needed her car. I hemmed and hawed for a few days then reluctantly went back at it. Some cars are easy to work on but this one looked like the engine was poured in place. No room to work. And so many wires and hoses. You couldn't tell where they started or ended, whether they were in the way or not. So many things connected and inner woven. And so many bolts! I knew I could get it apart but getting it together and it have it run, well.... I wanted to cry some times. It seemed so confusing. Too many parts. Even with the book it seemed confusing. But I got it done. And It ran !
I'm just about to give up watching the news, reading newspapers, the internet or Facebook. I guess I'm tired of so much complaining and the seeming hatred and disdain for those who don't see the world like we do. That's part of my personality I think. I just want everybody to get along. Isn't that what Rodney King said? This whole health care debate has stirred up a lot of this in me. I've read so much stuff on Facebook where people on both sides of the isle are taking swipes at each other and it just seems so...unloving. Unkind. I get that people are passionate. I need to be more that way. But the way it's been expressed.....
I want to comment on political stuff but I don't because I don't or can't understand so much stuff. The issues are to me so complicated. Like pick up sticks, spider webs or Ford Mustangs I feel like everything is so connected or woven together, that to do one thing might affect another. What's good for some will be bad for another and I know I'm not smart enough to make those decisions. And what's disheartening to me is that people who disagree and are way smarter than me both seem right. So who IS right? Uuuhhh.....
I am a blessed man. I live in a country where so much is possible. I live in a country where I'm free. And what I want to do with my freedom is to love my God and to act like Him no matter what the government looks like. Well, I say I want to love Him but I don't think I do such a good job. He's easy for me to ignore sometimes. Sad. But I want to walk in his steps in my world and do what He's doing. I can't change the country but I think I can change my world, at least my little slice of it. I guess. I hope tomorrow I'll wake up with the same passion for my Dad as some have for this country. Which,by the way, isn't even my home.
I used to work at a construction company who's shop was in the woods. I really enjoyed working there. One of the fun thing there was the spiders. They were all over the place. The cool ones were the Garden Orb spiders. We called them Banana spiders 'cause they were shaped like a banana. They could get huge, like 3 or 4 inches ! I used to catch baby frogs and drop them in the web and the spiders go nuts. They zoom to catch the frog, wrap it up and start sucking it dry. Cruel and gross I know. Boys will be boys and I am one. In one barn there were spiders who seemed to congregate together. There would be a couple dozen in one spot and they'd have their webs all tangled with one another and I wondered how they could tell who's web was who's. So many threads interwoven.
My daughter Kara had a Ford Mustang for a few years and the head gaskets blew so it was up to me to fix it. I'm pretty mechanically inclined and had done a few head gaskets before so I dove right in. Then I dove right back out. But she needed her car. I hemmed and hawed for a few days then reluctantly went back at it. Some cars are easy to work on but this one looked like the engine was poured in place. No room to work. And so many wires and hoses. You couldn't tell where they started or ended, whether they were in the way or not. So many things connected and inner woven. And so many bolts! I knew I could get it apart but getting it together and it have it run, well.... I wanted to cry some times. It seemed so confusing. Too many parts. Even with the book it seemed confusing. But I got it done. And It ran !
I'm just about to give up watching the news, reading newspapers, the internet or Facebook. I guess I'm tired of so much complaining and the seeming hatred and disdain for those who don't see the world like we do. That's part of my personality I think. I just want everybody to get along. Isn't that what Rodney King said? This whole health care debate has stirred up a lot of this in me. I've read so much stuff on Facebook where people on both sides of the isle are taking swipes at each other and it just seems so...unloving. Unkind. I get that people are passionate. I need to be more that way. But the way it's been expressed.....
I want to comment on political stuff but I don't because I don't or can't understand so much stuff. The issues are to me so complicated. Like pick up sticks, spider webs or Ford Mustangs I feel like everything is so connected or woven together, that to do one thing might affect another. What's good for some will be bad for another and I know I'm not smart enough to make those decisions. And what's disheartening to me is that people who disagree and are way smarter than me both seem right. So who IS right? Uuuhhh.....
I am a blessed man. I live in a country where so much is possible. I live in a country where I'm free. And what I want to do with my freedom is to love my God and to act like Him no matter what the government looks like. Well, I say I want to love Him but I don't think I do such a good job. He's easy for me to ignore sometimes. Sad. But I want to walk in his steps in my world and do what He's doing. I can't change the country but I think I can change my world, at least my little slice of it. I guess. I hope tomorrow I'll wake up with the same passion for my Dad as some have for this country. Which,by the way, isn't even my home.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
burrrrrr....
I had a job once. It was nice because it paid me real money. Well, It would have. I worked at Taco Viva in West Palm Beach for 5 hours and never came back. I got fired by another employee, not even the manager. Said they'd hired me on accident, that they didn't really need anyone. Which was fine with me. I hated the job. I didn't know how to make a taco. What kind of 18 year old can't make a taco? What kind of 18 year old lets his mama make his taco? Pathetic. Taco Viva still owes me for the 5 hours. Wonder if I can still get it?
I remember the most miserable I've ever been on a job. I used to work for a company that made concrete water storage tanks. Some times they'd leak and we would have to travel out of town to fix 'em. This one was in Colombus ,Mississippi. We fixed it before. Probably why it was leaking now. We had painted a rubber liner in the tank and now it was failing so we had to blast it off with pressure washers. In the dead of winter. The temps were in the low 20's and I was freezing even before I got wet. And I got wet. We sat on scaffolding about 3 feet from the wall and blasted away with the water going everywhere...including inside my rain suit.I was so cold. It was hard for all of us but we managed to stick it out and fix the tank (I think). I don't know if I'd have finished if others weren't there with me.
I get tired of reading the bible sometimes. It's a great sleep aid if you read it at the right time of the day. Some times I get tired of praying too. I think I realize sometimes I show up to Gods door with his "to do" list for the day. "...And if you get through with that before the days end come see me. I have another list...". I try to have conversations with Him throughout the day but when it comes to asking for things I feel like "why bother" 'cause not much happens when I do ask. Yeah, I'm pretty shallow. Have you ever been addicted to anything, like cigarettes, crack, food, porn,television,alcohol, et al and asked God to help you stop? It's like He's on vacation. Always wondered where He goes to do that....
Life is about work. And that's not a bad thing. Well, I guess it can be but you can derive so much pleasure from it too. I've said before that I've had a good and bad marriage over the past 26 years and it has taken lots of work to make it happy. Mostly it's because I took a lot of time off from the good work of marriage and let it get bad in spots which makes the work of restoration all the harder. And I don't like hard work. I have a tendency toward laziness so I've needed help form time to time from my brothers to grab me by the arm and walk with me in the doing of the good work of marriage, of parenthood, of walking with my DAD or my job. I think that's one of the reasons why we have brothers and sisters. At least that's what I'm using 'em for. Guess that sounds bad. I love my family of faith and am so grateful that they love me and are willing to help. I cherish them and hope they know I do. They make me feel good.
Sometimes we reap what we sow and end up in a hard place. I don't understand it but sometimes we just end up in a hard place for who knows what reason. It's not our fault but here we are. I want to say the hard place is not where we are supposed to be, that we are meant for an easier life but I can't. History is littered with examples of people who were born into hardship and died in it. Children of Israel in Egypt anyone? It just doesn't seem fair but I'm not the one who gets to decide that. So sometimes I try to be content "...no matter the situation..." like Paul. But some times it's easier to whine...
Don't know why I'm writing this today. I wrote the first paragraph 2 weeks ago but forgot where I was goin' with it. Just sat down and started typing tonight . I'm in a hard place right now and am working my way through it. May get wet. And cold. May have to learn to make tacos. But I will make it. I don't know how long or how hard I'll have to work. Maybe a day, maybe a month, maybe a year. It doesn't matter. I have a great life filled with a fabulous wife and kids and my brothers and sisters who care. Most of all, I have a DAD who knows so much about me and cares so deeply for me. He is proud to call me His son and is so dedicated to helping me work out life and become who He said I already am. It's an honor to know Him. Think I want to be like Him when I grow up....
Now about that list.....
I remember the most miserable I've ever been on a job. I used to work for a company that made concrete water storage tanks. Some times they'd leak and we would have to travel out of town to fix 'em. This one was in Colombus ,Mississippi. We fixed it before. Probably why it was leaking now. We had painted a rubber liner in the tank and now it was failing so we had to blast it off with pressure washers. In the dead of winter. The temps were in the low 20's and I was freezing even before I got wet. And I got wet. We sat on scaffolding about 3 feet from the wall and blasted away with the water going everywhere...including inside my rain suit.I was so cold. It was hard for all of us but we managed to stick it out and fix the tank (I think). I don't know if I'd have finished if others weren't there with me.
I get tired of reading the bible sometimes. It's a great sleep aid if you read it at the right time of the day. Some times I get tired of praying too. I think I realize sometimes I show up to Gods door with his "to do" list for the day. "...And if you get through with that before the days end come see me. I have another list...". I try to have conversations with Him throughout the day but when it comes to asking for things I feel like "why bother" 'cause not much happens when I do ask. Yeah, I'm pretty shallow. Have you ever been addicted to anything, like cigarettes, crack, food, porn,television,alcohol, et al and asked God to help you stop? It's like He's on vacation. Always wondered where He goes to do that....
Life is about work. And that's not a bad thing. Well, I guess it can be but you can derive so much pleasure from it too. I've said before that I've had a good and bad marriage over the past 26 years and it has taken lots of work to make it happy. Mostly it's because I took a lot of time off from the good work of marriage and let it get bad in spots which makes the work of restoration all the harder. And I don't like hard work. I have a tendency toward laziness so I've needed help form time to time from my brothers to grab me by the arm and walk with me in the doing of the good work of marriage, of parenthood, of walking with my DAD or my job. I think that's one of the reasons why we have brothers and sisters. At least that's what I'm using 'em for. Guess that sounds bad. I love my family of faith and am so grateful that they love me and are willing to help. I cherish them and hope they know I do. They make me feel good.
Sometimes we reap what we sow and end up in a hard place. I don't understand it but sometimes we just end up in a hard place for who knows what reason. It's not our fault but here we are. I want to say the hard place is not where we are supposed to be, that we are meant for an easier life but I can't. History is littered with examples of people who were born into hardship and died in it. Children of Israel in Egypt anyone? It just doesn't seem fair but I'm not the one who gets to decide that. So sometimes I try to be content "...no matter the situation..." like Paul. But some times it's easier to whine...
Don't know why I'm writing this today. I wrote the first paragraph 2 weeks ago but forgot where I was goin' with it. Just sat down and started typing tonight . I'm in a hard place right now and am working my way through it. May get wet. And cold. May have to learn to make tacos. But I will make it. I don't know how long or how hard I'll have to work. Maybe a day, maybe a month, maybe a year. It doesn't matter. I have a great life filled with a fabulous wife and kids and my brothers and sisters who care. Most of all, I have a DAD who knows so much about me and cares so deeply for me. He is proud to call me His son and is so dedicated to helping me work out life and become who He said I already am. It's an honor to know Him. Think I want to be like Him when I grow up....
Now about that list.....
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Cry Baby
A cautionary tale for fathers and fathers to be....
No stories tonight. Just regrets and tears. Sadness and the woulda coulda shoulda's. It's not the way you should feel on the eve of your daughters wedding.Ok, one story. Or two....
The summer of 1987 was the best ever. We spent the whole time in Terri's home town of Deer Isle, Maine and I worked with her dad remolding a house . I love her folks - sweet people who love Jesus. Maine is such a beautiful place and the pace of life is so relaxed that even though I worked 40 hours a week it didn't feel like it. I remember getting up at 6:00 each day and would go to the Galley (the local grocery store) to get a cup of coffee and a cake doughnut. They made fun of me 'cause I was barefoot. I wore shoes to work though. The house we worked on was in a cove in Blue Hill. Sooo beautiful. The cove I mean. The house was a dump. Location, location location. I wish I could say more without boring you. Do a Vulcan mind meld and let you know how good it felt that summer.
All good things come to an end and so it did that summer. We were going back to West Palm Beach and I wasn't going back to school, I was going to work. There is a beautiful suspension bridge that connects Deer Isle to the mainland and as we left, having said our goodbyes we began to cross the bridge. I don't remember what was going through my mind exactly but something was changing. I wasn't just crossing a bridge to go to another city but I was crossing into a new future. Since I was 5 years old I had been a student and as weird as it sounds for me to say, there was a certain comfort in school. A predictability. Every day was going to be mostly the same. Now, I was married and have a daughter and one on the way, no job and I'm crossing this bridge into a future unknown and I was sooo scared. I couldn't turn around and go back. Being a grown up means you can't go back. The decision was final. So as we crossed, I began to cry. A lot.
I wanted to play football when I grew up. Wide receiver. I was fast but was too chicken to try out. People who are too chicken to try out end up house painters. I'm still too chicken so I paint.I cried when I turned 40. Not because I was 40 but because football players weren't 40 (mostly). As irrational as it seemed, I still believed I had what it took to play ball (all the while dismissing the fact I never HAD what it took) and could just start at any moment. But now I was 40 and it was too late. I was too old and you can't turn back time. So I cried.
I had to smile. We were at the beach enjoying the healthy dose of radiation we all love when I noticed an older man and woman walking by. He looked like he might be in his late 50's and she in her early 20's. I assumed father/daughter but you never know. Mid-life crisis' and all. Guess she could have been a hooker. They came toward us, holding hands, talking and laughing as they paced along and you could see they enjoyed each other. The great thing about sunglasses is you can stare at someone and they don't know, so I watched as they passed and I smiled inside. They had that special something. The man loved his daughter.
My daughters and son are special. I am so rich in that way. I wish I'd have taken better care of my riches. I really had a blast with them when they were young, doing all the things a little kid wants to do. But as they got older they became a little more independent, a little more self sufficient. We were a one income family which meant sometimes working long hours or even going out of town on occasion for days at a time. It didn't leave much time for me. Or Terri. Or the kids. Since the kids were more able to occupy themselves and not demand my attention I'd let them just play by themselves. Reminds me of the old story preachers tell of the man on his death bed never saying "I wish I'd have spent more time at the office". Sometimes you have to spend more time there but the job didn't end when I came home. I had to be a father. A good father. And that means time. Time I spent on other things. They weren't clamoring for my attention so more often than I'd like to admit I didn't give it. It wasn't the games and fun they missed out on but the wisdom and subtle instruction that rubs off just being with someone. A father.
My daughter is getting married and I have to pick a song to dance to. I've been listening to a few and my heart is just broken. They all speak of how the song writer cherishes so much his daughter, how she's so special. Special memories. I picture the father and daughter as they walked down the beach. They seemed so...rich. I don't have enough of those. Neglect is so subtle. Like Proverbs says "a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of hands and poverty will come upon you like a vagabond." I didn't intend to be a bad father. Truth is I'm not a bad father but I'm not a great father. And THAT was my call...to be a great father. It's never too late and so I keep trying but I missed sooo much. I've crossed the bridge, I'm past 40 and I can't turn back so I do what grown ups do, keep moving forward and trying to making right choices. Striving to still be a great dad.
I will pick the right song. The music will start and I'll take Kara's hand and lead her to the dance floor and embrace and begin to sway to the music. I'll look her in the eyes and tell her I love her. She'll probably say the same thing back. She loves me. I will be so proud and full of joy. She is so special to me. Her future is bright and I long to be a part of it. She will no longer bear my name but I hope she'll bear some of the Life I passed on. I hope some of the good made it through. Some of the Jesus. My eyes will be full of tears as we dance. Mostly they'll be tears of joy. But I'll cry some of regret too. Regret that I can't get time back....
No stories tonight. Just regrets and tears. Sadness and the woulda coulda shoulda's. It's not the way you should feel on the eve of your daughters wedding.Ok, one story. Or two....
The summer of 1987 was the best ever. We spent the whole time in Terri's home town of Deer Isle, Maine and I worked with her dad remolding a house . I love her folks - sweet people who love Jesus. Maine is such a beautiful place and the pace of life is so relaxed that even though I worked 40 hours a week it didn't feel like it. I remember getting up at 6:00 each day and would go to the Galley (the local grocery store) to get a cup of coffee and a cake doughnut. They made fun of me 'cause I was barefoot. I wore shoes to work though. The house we worked on was in a cove in Blue Hill. Sooo beautiful. The cove I mean. The house was a dump. Location, location location. I wish I could say more without boring you. Do a Vulcan mind meld and let you know how good it felt that summer.
All good things come to an end and so it did that summer. We were going back to West Palm Beach and I wasn't going back to school, I was going to work. There is a beautiful suspension bridge that connects Deer Isle to the mainland and as we left, having said our goodbyes we began to cross the bridge. I don't remember what was going through my mind exactly but something was changing. I wasn't just crossing a bridge to go to another city but I was crossing into a new future. Since I was 5 years old I had been a student and as weird as it sounds for me to say, there was a certain comfort in school. A predictability. Every day was going to be mostly the same. Now, I was married and have a daughter and one on the way, no job and I'm crossing this bridge into a future unknown and I was sooo scared. I couldn't turn around and go back. Being a grown up means you can't go back. The decision was final. So as we crossed, I began to cry. A lot.
I wanted to play football when I grew up. Wide receiver. I was fast but was too chicken to try out. People who are too chicken to try out end up house painters. I'm still too chicken so I paint.I cried when I turned 40. Not because I was 40 but because football players weren't 40 (mostly). As irrational as it seemed, I still believed I had what it took to play ball (all the while dismissing the fact I never HAD what it took) and could just start at any moment. But now I was 40 and it was too late. I was too old and you can't turn back time. So I cried.
I had to smile. We were at the beach enjoying the healthy dose of radiation we all love when I noticed an older man and woman walking by. He looked like he might be in his late 50's and she in her early 20's. I assumed father/daughter but you never know. Mid-life crisis' and all. Guess she could have been a hooker. They came toward us, holding hands, talking and laughing as they paced along and you could see they enjoyed each other. The great thing about sunglasses is you can stare at someone and they don't know, so I watched as they passed and I smiled inside. They had that special something. The man loved his daughter.
My daughters and son are special. I am so rich in that way. I wish I'd have taken better care of my riches. I really had a blast with them when they were young, doing all the things a little kid wants to do. But as they got older they became a little more independent, a little more self sufficient. We were a one income family which meant sometimes working long hours or even going out of town on occasion for days at a time. It didn't leave much time for me. Or Terri. Or the kids. Since the kids were more able to occupy themselves and not demand my attention I'd let them just play by themselves. Reminds me of the old story preachers tell of the man on his death bed never saying "I wish I'd have spent more time at the office". Sometimes you have to spend more time there but the job didn't end when I came home. I had to be a father. A good father. And that means time. Time I spent on other things. They weren't clamoring for my attention so more often than I'd like to admit I didn't give it. It wasn't the games and fun they missed out on but the wisdom and subtle instruction that rubs off just being with someone. A father.
My daughter is getting married and I have to pick a song to dance to. I've been listening to a few and my heart is just broken. They all speak of how the song writer cherishes so much his daughter, how she's so special. Special memories. I picture the father and daughter as they walked down the beach. They seemed so...rich. I don't have enough of those. Neglect is so subtle. Like Proverbs says "a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of hands and poverty will come upon you like a vagabond." I didn't intend to be a bad father. Truth is I'm not a bad father but I'm not a great father. And THAT was my call...to be a great father. It's never too late and so I keep trying but I missed sooo much. I've crossed the bridge, I'm past 40 and I can't turn back so I do what grown ups do, keep moving forward and trying to making right choices. Striving to still be a great dad.
I will pick the right song. The music will start and I'll take Kara's hand and lead her to the dance floor and embrace and begin to sway to the music. I'll look her in the eyes and tell her I love her. She'll probably say the same thing back. She loves me. I will be so proud and full of joy. She is so special to me. Her future is bright and I long to be a part of it. She will no longer bear my name but I hope she'll bear some of the Life I passed on. I hope some of the good made it through. Some of the Jesus. My eyes will be full of tears as we dance. Mostly they'll be tears of joy. But I'll cry some of regret too. Regret that I can't get time back....
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wee Wee Wee all the way home
You know you're getting older when you mention shows you used to watch to your kids and they never heard of 'em. The shows I'm thinking of were reruns when I watched them so I guess they'd be 3rd generation reruns for my kids. The old black and white stuff. The Andy Griffith show, Gomer Pyle, The Beverly Hillbillies. Guess they all eventually went to color. Mistake. Black and white made the world seem more innocent, a simpler time didn't it?
One of my favorites was Green Acres. I used to come home from high school and get a snack and sit in front of the TV. I didn't have home work. That's what my mom believes and I'd like to keep it that way. Hi mom! My favorite snack was a couple of Kaiser rolls and some butter with a tall glass of cold milk. So I'd butter 'em up and sit a spell. At 3:30 was a show on TBS called Gigglesnort Hotel, made for 5 year old's so naturally I loved it. Then it was Green Acres for an hours worth of laughs. Arnold the pig was my favorite character. Don't know why. Just liked pigs.....
I grew up on a farm. Not really. But I always wanted to. My uncle Ollie had one. In Virginia. We loved to go visit. It was like Disneyland for city kids. So much to do. Maybe the best day in the history of kid-dom was had there one summer in a rain storm. I live in Florida and our ground is made of dirt and when it gets wet it becomes...wet dirt. In Virginia the ground is made of red dirt and when it gets wet it becomes...MUD! Oh my gosh we had so much fun running in the rain, sliding down hills, making mud pies, making bricks without straw. Perfect!
And what good farm wouldn't have animals. It had the standard fair: cows, horses, chickens, pigs and the like. My uncle wanted me to help milk the cows. At 4:30 in the morning! Is God up at 4:30? Got to slop the hogs- just toss in a bucket of dead, old stuff and they went, well, hog wild. The neatest things were the little piglets though. C u t e!!! If you picked them up they'd wiggle and squeal sooo loud! The funnest thing was when they were in the field with their momma and we'd chase them. There'd be like 20 of 'em and we'd start to run at them. You know how a swarm of fish (swarm?) can all turn on a dime all at the same time? Piglets do it too! We'd run up on them and when we'd get close enough we'd kick their hind legs out from under them and they'd roll and skid down the hill in the mud. Great fun for 10 year old's. Sorry PETA.
The only one who didn't like it was mama pig. Ok maybe the piglets too. Pigs can be a mean animal and they have sharp teeth. Fortunately for us, these were slow and not too bright (they'd have never made it on Green Acres) and easy to separate from the piglets. But once they DID get a bead on us we ran for the creek. And every good farm has a creek filled with a little water and lots of, wait for it...MUD!! Pigs can't jump so we'd run and jump for the other side and land in the ...mud. Must have slipped.
Uncle Ollie and aunt Mary had a real dinner bell on a post outside the house that could be heard across the acres when rung. And It was ringing! Dinner! We ran through the creek, across the fields, past the barns to the back door. "EEEEEKKKKK! We told you not to get dirty!" (can a man stop the wind?)"Stand right there!". So we had to strip to our birthday suit and they hosed us off at the door. Then we toweled off and headed for the fireplace where we huddled to get warm. We had a wonderful dinner of eggs, grits, sausage(one of the slower pigs)and thick slices of home made toast. After dinner we went out to catch fireflies in a big mason jar. Then dessert and they tucked all 5 of us in one bed. Aaahhh. A day well lived
This reminds me of another time when I realized I wasn't allowed in the house. Way too dirty for even my best attempts to clean myself up. But Someone offered to do it for me.When I was 17 my DAD washed me. I stood naked before Him, covered in mud and filth, not able to go inside and eat with him. So He washed me clean and draped a robe on me and said "Come on in son and eat and sit with me by the fire". And I sit in His lap and we rock and He tells me how much He loves me. He has a great smile and a hearty laugh. He doesn't say much but He holds me tight and hums a beautiful tune.I like that.
Everyday I go out and live my life and some days I get dirty, sometimes by choice or just because life can get me that way. I come running to His back door and look at myself and say "Sorry. Will You wash me off?" And He always steps out the back door and embraces me and says "I already did. Come inside and lets have some toast". I love my DAD....
One of my favorites was Green Acres. I used to come home from high school and get a snack and sit in front of the TV. I didn't have home work. That's what my mom believes and I'd like to keep it that way. Hi mom! My favorite snack was a couple of Kaiser rolls and some butter with a tall glass of cold milk. So I'd butter 'em up and sit a spell. At 3:30 was a show on TBS called Gigglesnort Hotel, made for 5 year old's so naturally I loved it. Then it was Green Acres for an hours worth of laughs. Arnold the pig was my favorite character. Don't know why. Just liked pigs.....
I grew up on a farm. Not really. But I always wanted to. My uncle Ollie had one. In Virginia. We loved to go visit. It was like Disneyland for city kids. So much to do. Maybe the best day in the history of kid-dom was had there one summer in a rain storm. I live in Florida and our ground is made of dirt and when it gets wet it becomes...wet dirt. In Virginia the ground is made of red dirt and when it gets wet it becomes...MUD! Oh my gosh we had so much fun running in the rain, sliding down hills, making mud pies, making bricks without straw. Perfect!
And what good farm wouldn't have animals. It had the standard fair: cows, horses, chickens, pigs and the like. My uncle wanted me to help milk the cows. At 4:30 in the morning! Is God up at 4:30? Got to slop the hogs- just toss in a bucket of dead, old stuff and they went, well, hog wild. The neatest things were the little piglets though. C u t e!!! If you picked them up they'd wiggle and squeal sooo loud! The funnest thing was when they were in the field with their momma and we'd chase them. There'd be like 20 of 'em and we'd start to run at them. You know how a swarm of fish (swarm?) can all turn on a dime all at the same time? Piglets do it too! We'd run up on them and when we'd get close enough we'd kick their hind legs out from under them and they'd roll and skid down the hill in the mud. Great fun for 10 year old's. Sorry PETA.
The only one who didn't like it was mama pig. Ok maybe the piglets too. Pigs can be a mean animal and they have sharp teeth. Fortunately for us, these were slow and not too bright (they'd have never made it on Green Acres) and easy to separate from the piglets. But once they DID get a bead on us we ran for the creek. And every good farm has a creek filled with a little water and lots of, wait for it...MUD!! Pigs can't jump so we'd run and jump for the other side and land in the ...mud. Must have slipped.
Uncle Ollie and aunt Mary had a real dinner bell on a post outside the house that could be heard across the acres when rung. And It was ringing! Dinner! We ran through the creek, across the fields, past the barns to the back door. "EEEEEKKKKK! We told you not to get dirty!" (can a man stop the wind?)"Stand right there!". So we had to strip to our birthday suit and they hosed us off at the door. Then we toweled off and headed for the fireplace where we huddled to get warm. We had a wonderful dinner of eggs, grits, sausage(one of the slower pigs)and thick slices of home made toast. After dinner we went out to catch fireflies in a big mason jar. Then dessert and they tucked all 5 of us in one bed. Aaahhh. A day well lived
This reminds me of another time when I realized I wasn't allowed in the house. Way too dirty for even my best attempts to clean myself up. But Someone offered to do it for me.When I was 17 my DAD washed me. I stood naked before Him, covered in mud and filth, not able to go inside and eat with him. So He washed me clean and draped a robe on me and said "Come on in son and eat and sit with me by the fire". And I sit in His lap and we rock and He tells me how much He loves me. He has a great smile and a hearty laugh. He doesn't say much but He holds me tight and hums a beautiful tune.I like that.
Everyday I go out and live my life and some days I get dirty, sometimes by choice or just because life can get me that way. I come running to His back door and look at myself and say "Sorry. Will You wash me off?" And He always steps out the back door and embraces me and says "I already did. Come inside and lets have some toast". I love my DAD....
Sunday, March 7, 2010
fuzzy
Quick...best and worst invention of the 20th century? Too many right answers to that one but I immediately said television. Best and worst. I mean the set, not the industry. If no screen, no computer.no video games. No i-whatevers. It ruined the world my mom said. She's probably right. But you'll have to pry mine out of my cold dead fingers....
Do you remember your first TV? Not the one your parents had but the first one you owned all by your self. I remember mine well because it was free.Some one must have gotten a new set for Christmas and tossed the old one in the dumpster. Nothing ventured nothing gained so in I went and retrieved 25 inch color Magnavox. Worked perfect. I love dumpster diving by the way. Businesses throw away some great stuff. I once found about 50 boxes of Little Debbie Snack Cakes. H e a v e n!! Walmart was remolding about 15 years ago and their dumpster was LOADED! I got a car seat, back packs, office chair and a bunch of other stuff. I was coming out with my third load, about 20 cans of orange and grape soda when this pimply kid with a Walmart vest came to dump some more. I never forget what he said. "Sir, you'll have to get out of the Walmart dumpster please".(I think it was the first time I'd ever been called "sir"). I laughed all the way home.
I used to hear of people stealing cable all the time. Maybe it was the circles I traveled in...Christians. They didn't want people to know they got HBO 'cause there were naked people on it so they some how got it in a nefarious way. God must only know about your habits by looking at your bills. So I have cable. And I pay for it. But it's the basic package so we get like 20 channels. Of those, 5 are shopping, 2 are cspan, 3 others are local junk. I demand more for my $20! And for a while, I was getting it. We got TBS and FX and Fox Sports. There was a problem with the lines on the pole and it some how let those through. Yeah! For about a year and then they recently came through the neighborhood and put in new lines and "poof", no more TBS, FX, Fox Sports. sigh.
Well, I do still get FX. Sort of. I can turn it on to channel 24 and can see a fuzzy, grainy picture. And kind of that roaring sound you get when there's no signal. You can see their actions on the screen through the fuzz and MAYBE hear a word or two. Not much to look at. But I sometimes watch anyway. My mom was right.
It's no secret that I've had a harder start to this year than what I'd have liked. So much for New Years resolutions. Emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically have been such a challenge so far this year that I've felt like giving up and being homeless or something. Just check out. But I can't because I'm a grown up. But I sure do feel like taking my ball and going home. I have a wife to love. Children to take care of. Brothers and sisters who need me in their life. Customers and neighbors who need to see my DAD. So I have to act like a man, to make good and wise decisions. To act other than how I feel. And that is sooo hard.
They say hindsight is 20/20. Boy don't you wish you could get in your time machine and go 10 years into the future and look back at what you're going through now and see why it was necessary and then get back in and come back to now so you could tell yourself not to sweat it because you need this crap so that you will be _______ and a better ______ . I will soon have my machine perfected....
My fuzzy TV reminded me of my life at the moment. I know there's life going on here but it hard to see and understand and I can't change the channel. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 this week, about love. "A better way" Paul says. He said our knowledge is partial and incomplete and that we see things as through a dirty mirror. Or maybe a fuzzy TV. But we WILL see things with perfect clarity. He said so. So I'm going to wake tomorrow and do my best to love my Dad and those He blessed me with. To press ahead even if I don't feel like it. Even if my magic 8 ball says "the future looks fuzzy...."
Do you remember your first TV? Not the one your parents had but the first one you owned all by your self. I remember mine well because it was free.Some one must have gotten a new set for Christmas and tossed the old one in the dumpster. Nothing ventured nothing gained so in I went and retrieved 25 inch color Magnavox. Worked perfect. I love dumpster diving by the way. Businesses throw away some great stuff. I once found about 50 boxes of Little Debbie Snack Cakes. H e a v e n!! Walmart was remolding about 15 years ago and their dumpster was LOADED! I got a car seat, back packs, office chair and a bunch of other stuff. I was coming out with my third load, about 20 cans of orange and grape soda when this pimply kid with a Walmart vest came to dump some more. I never forget what he said. "Sir, you'll have to get out of the Walmart dumpster please".(I think it was the first time I'd ever been called "sir"). I laughed all the way home.
I used to hear of people stealing cable all the time. Maybe it was the circles I traveled in...Christians. They didn't want people to know they got HBO 'cause there were naked people on it so they some how got it in a nefarious way. God must only know about your habits by looking at your bills. So I have cable. And I pay for it. But it's the basic package so we get like 20 channels. Of those, 5 are shopping, 2 are cspan, 3 others are local junk. I demand more for my $20! And for a while, I was getting it. We got TBS and FX and Fox Sports. There was a problem with the lines on the pole and it some how let those through. Yeah! For about a year and then they recently came through the neighborhood and put in new lines and "poof", no more TBS, FX, Fox Sports. sigh.
Well, I do still get FX. Sort of. I can turn it on to channel 24 and can see a fuzzy, grainy picture. And kind of that roaring sound you get when there's no signal. You can see their actions on the screen through the fuzz and MAYBE hear a word or two. Not much to look at. But I sometimes watch anyway. My mom was right.
It's no secret that I've had a harder start to this year than what I'd have liked. So much for New Years resolutions. Emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically have been such a challenge so far this year that I've felt like giving up and being homeless or something. Just check out. But I can't because I'm a grown up. But I sure do feel like taking my ball and going home. I have a wife to love. Children to take care of. Brothers and sisters who need me in their life. Customers and neighbors who need to see my DAD. So I have to act like a man, to make good and wise decisions. To act other than how I feel. And that is sooo hard.
They say hindsight is 20/20. Boy don't you wish you could get in your time machine and go 10 years into the future and look back at what you're going through now and see why it was necessary and then get back in and come back to now so you could tell yourself not to sweat it because you need this crap so that you will be _______ and a better ______ . I will soon have my machine perfected....
My fuzzy TV reminded me of my life at the moment. I know there's life going on here but it hard to see and understand and I can't change the channel. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 this week, about love. "A better way" Paul says. He said our knowledge is partial and incomplete and that we see things as through a dirty mirror. Or maybe a fuzzy TV. But we WILL see things with perfect clarity. He said so. So I'm going to wake tomorrow and do my best to love my Dad and those He blessed me with. To press ahead even if I don't feel like it. Even if my magic 8 ball says "the future looks fuzzy...."
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Mr. fix it
My daughter Holli is wonderful. She's 15 now and will be gone way too soon. I kid and say if she'd been the first child she'd have been the last. The first 4 were pretty compliant but she was the one you here about. Not difficult like a problem child. She thought she knew everything and could do anything. Definitely an entrepreneur type, always trying things. She wants to be a chef. Holli is a good cook on her way to being a great cook! She tries things and if it doesn't work out she'll try again.
I tried something once. I fixed a bike. Only it wasn't broken. Yet. I was 7 I think and had a 3 speed emerald green Western Auto bike complete with a banana seat, 2 foot high sissy bar and high rise handle bars with faux leather tassels in the grips. My uncle Kenneth had a Harley Davidson chopper and I imagined I was him as I rode. I had playing cards clothes pinned in the spokes to make it sound just like a Harley!
I had a vivid imagination as a child. I had to since no one would play with me but that's for another story. I guess I imagined I was one of those hippies, like Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider". I always wanted to be one but you have to have long hair. Mom believed in crew cuts. And now I've entered the no hair part of my life. Rats. A hippy whose Harley was broken so no time like the present dig right in.
My dad had a great set of tools at home. I don't know how he got them but they were United States Navy tools, USN stamped right on them. The $300 hammer type. A bit of a mystery though because my dad was in the Air Force. Hummmm. So I took those tools and went to work taking apart my "Harley". I'm a decent mechanic but usually seem to have a part or two left over when I work on our cars (sub consciously leaving unnecessary parts to aid fuel efficiency. Must be.) I've not changed much 'cause it happened back then too. I completely took it apart and put it back together and PRESTO! Good as new. Except it only had one speed now. Wonder if it had anything to do with the left over parts? I must have fixed it good because dad couldn't fix it either. Nor could the Western Auto guys. So a one speed it stayed.
23 screws and bolts. That's how many I had left over when I replaced the condenser in the dash of my wife's mini van. A good 12 oz. of weight saved. And it worked fine. But I had so much trouble getting that thing apart. I had the book but it wasn't too clear. My wife suggested the internet. Women. Nobody would have that kind of information put up on the web. They would have blown their brains out if they had to think about how they had fixed the A/C. So for six hours I took that puppy apart to get to the condenser and it only took 5 minutes to put the new one in. Another six hours and we'd be back in business. At this point Terri came out with 4 pages of something she'd gotten off the internet. I was hoping it was recipes or something. Step by step instructions to replace a condenser. Estimated time? 2 hours. Sure,.. you COULD do it that way..... Grrrrrrrrr.
I sometimes don't husband very well. I get caught up in life and quit paying attention to what I'm doing. Or not doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it right? But if you don't take care of your ride you may find yourself broke down in the middle of nowhere. I, we, need to pay attention, to maintain those things that need regular care. Try what you know to do. If you don't know something, get help. Not all cars are the same and neither are relationships. If one book doesn't work, get a different one. Or call a friend. Cry if you have to (I do) but fight through. I committed to a God, a wife, a job, a mortgage, etc. and I can't give up and walk away. I am blessed with so many good things that God has seen fit to honor me with. How can I do any less than to honor Him with how I take care it? And if I screw it up tomorrow I'll take it to my DAD to fix. He'll fix it...with no parts left over.
I tried something once. I fixed a bike. Only it wasn't broken. Yet. I was 7 I think and had a 3 speed emerald green Western Auto bike complete with a banana seat, 2 foot high sissy bar and high rise handle bars with faux leather tassels in the grips. My uncle Kenneth had a Harley Davidson chopper and I imagined I was him as I rode. I had playing cards clothes pinned in the spokes to make it sound just like a Harley!
I had a vivid imagination as a child. I had to since no one would play with me but that's for another story. I guess I imagined I was one of those hippies, like Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider". I always wanted to be one but you have to have long hair. Mom believed in crew cuts. And now I've entered the no hair part of my life. Rats. A hippy whose Harley was broken so no time like the present dig right in.
My dad had a great set of tools at home. I don't know how he got them but they were United States Navy tools, USN stamped right on them. The $300 hammer type. A bit of a mystery though because my dad was in the Air Force. Hummmm. So I took those tools and went to work taking apart my "Harley". I'm a decent mechanic but usually seem to have a part or two left over when I work on our cars (sub consciously leaving unnecessary parts to aid fuel efficiency. Must be.) I've not changed much 'cause it happened back then too. I completely took it apart and put it back together and PRESTO! Good as new. Except it only had one speed now. Wonder if it had anything to do with the left over parts? I must have fixed it good because dad couldn't fix it either. Nor could the Western Auto guys. So a one speed it stayed.
23 screws and bolts. That's how many I had left over when I replaced the condenser in the dash of my wife's mini van. A good 12 oz. of weight saved. And it worked fine. But I had so much trouble getting that thing apart. I had the book but it wasn't too clear. My wife suggested the internet. Women. Nobody would have that kind of information put up on the web. They would have blown their brains out if they had to think about how they had fixed the A/C. So for six hours I took that puppy apart to get to the condenser and it only took 5 minutes to put the new one in. Another six hours and we'd be back in business. At this point Terri came out with 4 pages of something she'd gotten off the internet. I was hoping it was recipes or something. Step by step instructions to replace a condenser. Estimated time? 2 hours. Sure,.. you COULD do it that way..... Grrrrrrrrr.
I sometimes don't husband very well. I get caught up in life and quit paying attention to what I'm doing. Or not doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it right? But if you don't take care of your ride you may find yourself broke down in the middle of nowhere. I, we, need to pay attention, to maintain those things that need regular care. Try what you know to do. If you don't know something, get help. Not all cars are the same and neither are relationships. If one book doesn't work, get a different one. Or call a friend. Cry if you have to (I do) but fight through. I committed to a God, a wife, a job, a mortgage, etc. and I can't give up and walk away. I am blessed with so many good things that God has seen fit to honor me with. How can I do any less than to honor Him with how I take care it? And if I screw it up tomorrow I'll take it to my DAD to fix. He'll fix it...with no parts left over.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A New Day
I'm afraid this wont make sense....
I was in the book store yesterday. Books-A-Million. 15,000 sq. ft. of information. As I strolled up and down the isles seeing 1000's of books I began to feel small. So much information on the things of life. How to be richer. How to find Mr. Right. How to have sex with Mr.Right. I noticed there weren't many books on Mrs. Right. I think because men aren't looking for Mrs. Right. They're looking for Mrs. Right Now. Men are so shallow. Well, me anyway. I mean,...not about that, but, uuhhh,...never mind. Books on how to cook. How to run a computer, a business, a sewing machine. Grow a garden, love God, run a marathon. I think I know a lot but looking at all those books, well, like I said, I felt small.
Have you ever called in sick to work when you weren't? Just needed a day off? Clear your mind? I think they're called "personal days". Seems to me a long time ago they were called weekends. For me anyway. I feel like I work too many days but I'm not complaining, I'm very thankful to my DAD for providing work. But I unwisely took one of those "personal days" yesterday and went to Books-A-Million for a few hours to.... I don't know what. To read? To think? I guess. It was just a nice quiet place to do that. I started to write a few things down, you know, things I wanted to write here, things I needed to here myself say to me. I jotted down a few things but really, not much worth while came to mind. So I left to go to work. Only I didn't get that far.
I have a great wife whom I love very much. I remember seeing her come through the line in the cafeteria at Palm Beach Atlantic College. I was the cashier, which, is one funny irony. I never passed a math class in my life as my check book will attest. But there I was each day as she came through the line. And I was smitten. My friend David Tiger and I prayed she'd like me and fall madly in love with me. I guess He USED to listen to me. 'Cause I got her. And I'm such a better, more mature man than I ever would have been without her. She is so valuable. But our marriage has not been without it's challenges. It's been tough at times and at times I'm sure we've both felt like giving up. But we don't. I don't know if I can explain it though. We just keep pushing through.
I got in my truck to drive to the house I was painting and instead drove to our church's building to fix some plumbing issue instead. Too late. They'd called the plumber.Which probably saved them money in the long run by avoiding the disaster I'd have created. I ended up talking for a few minutes to our church's Mrs. Everything for a spell. She's pretty smart and wise and can pray like nobodies business. And she laughs at me. No, she doesn't think I'm funny, she's just being nice. It gets rid of me faster if I can get a laugh. Mission accomplished kind of thing. Yeah, pretty pathetic. Ran into my friend Arty and we talked for a while. He's pretty wise too so I listened to his advise. It feels good to talk to friends. I'm glad he's mine.
Sleep is a wonderful thing for me. It's the rest but sometimes it's more. It feels like I wake up and I've taken the old day off and put on a new one. Like from dirty clothes to clean ones. It's weird and not always good, but the old mistakes, old problems are gone. Washed away. It only feels that way though. The junk is still there. There to be dealt with. But there is a lookforwardinglyness (it's my new word. Like it?) to a new day. It's brand new! Unspoiled.
My wife and I had a "discussion" last night about my day off. Not our most charming hour. But one of the better ones. Sometimes you have to break out the sledge hammer and work up a sweat tearing down walls and barriers that have "appeared".I'm a grade A brick mason when it comes to those. It's necessary work you have to do in relationships sometimes. I have a habit of not paying attention to my life and just float along in it. I would do well to get off my raft and take care of those wall while I can. Before we need a sledge hammer.
I slept well last night. I dreamed about our life together. My job. My kids. I, despite being a paycheck to paycheck kind of guy, am a rich man. The value and worth of all my experiences with my wife, good or bad, my kids, my brothers and sisters or job is far more than I would get from all those books in the book store together. I don't know it all nor do I want to.I want to know how to do the important things like loving my DAD, wife, and those around me. To know how to benefit others. There are some days I get it right. Seems like a lot I don't. And if I don't it's ok. Because in about 12 hours I'm gonna wake up and the old has passed. It's a brand new day.....
I was in the book store yesterday. Books-A-Million. 15,000 sq. ft. of information. As I strolled up and down the isles seeing 1000's of books I began to feel small. So much information on the things of life. How to be richer. How to find Mr. Right. How to have sex with Mr.Right. I noticed there weren't many books on Mrs. Right. I think because men aren't looking for Mrs. Right. They're looking for Mrs. Right Now. Men are so shallow. Well, me anyway. I mean,...not about that, but, uuhhh,...never mind. Books on how to cook. How to run a computer, a business, a sewing machine. Grow a garden, love God, run a marathon. I think I know a lot but looking at all those books, well, like I said, I felt small.
Have you ever called in sick to work when you weren't? Just needed a day off? Clear your mind? I think they're called "personal days". Seems to me a long time ago they were called weekends. For me anyway. I feel like I work too many days but I'm not complaining, I'm very thankful to my DAD for providing work. But I unwisely took one of those "personal days" yesterday and went to Books-A-Million for a few hours to.... I don't know what. To read? To think? I guess. It was just a nice quiet place to do that. I started to write a few things down, you know, things I wanted to write here, things I needed to here myself say to me. I jotted down a few things but really, not much worth while came to mind. So I left to go to work. Only I didn't get that far.
I have a great wife whom I love very much. I remember seeing her come through the line in the cafeteria at Palm Beach Atlantic College. I was the cashier, which, is one funny irony. I never passed a math class in my life as my check book will attest. But there I was each day as she came through the line. And I was smitten. My friend David Tiger and I prayed she'd like me and fall madly in love with me. I guess He USED to listen to me. 'Cause I got her. And I'm such a better, more mature man than I ever would have been without her. She is so valuable. But our marriage has not been without it's challenges. It's been tough at times and at times I'm sure we've both felt like giving up. But we don't. I don't know if I can explain it though. We just keep pushing through.
I got in my truck to drive to the house I was painting and instead drove to our church's building to fix some plumbing issue instead. Too late. They'd called the plumber.Which probably saved them money in the long run by avoiding the disaster I'd have created. I ended up talking for a few minutes to our church's Mrs. Everything for a spell. She's pretty smart and wise and can pray like nobodies business. And she laughs at me. No, she doesn't think I'm funny, she's just being nice. It gets rid of me faster if I can get a laugh. Mission accomplished kind of thing. Yeah, pretty pathetic. Ran into my friend Arty and we talked for a while. He's pretty wise too so I listened to his advise. It feels good to talk to friends. I'm glad he's mine.
Sleep is a wonderful thing for me. It's the rest but sometimes it's more. It feels like I wake up and I've taken the old day off and put on a new one. Like from dirty clothes to clean ones. It's weird and not always good, but the old mistakes, old problems are gone. Washed away. It only feels that way though. The junk is still there. There to be dealt with. But there is a lookforwardinglyness (it's my new word. Like it?) to a new day. It's brand new! Unspoiled.
My wife and I had a "discussion" last night about my day off. Not our most charming hour. But one of the better ones. Sometimes you have to break out the sledge hammer and work up a sweat tearing down walls and barriers that have "appeared".I'm a grade A brick mason when it comes to those. It's necessary work you have to do in relationships sometimes. I have a habit of not paying attention to my life and just float along in it. I would do well to get off my raft and take care of those wall while I can. Before we need a sledge hammer.
I slept well last night. I dreamed about our life together. My job. My kids. I, despite being a paycheck to paycheck kind of guy, am a rich man. The value and worth of all my experiences with my wife, good or bad, my kids, my brothers and sisters or job is far more than I would get from all those books in the book store together. I don't know it all nor do I want to.I want to know how to do the important things like loving my DAD, wife, and those around me. To know how to benefit others. There are some days I get it right. Seems like a lot I don't. And if I don't it's ok. Because in about 12 hours I'm gonna wake up and the old has passed. It's a brand new day.....
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