Fatty

Walking up to the library today I saw my reflection and began to hum the "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down" song . Fabulous .  Now even my subconscious knows I'm fat .

"Lose weight now! Ask me how!" Herbalife used to say that . Maybe they still do . They're a weight loss supplement company . Herbs I would guess . Back in the 1800's they called it snake oil if I'm not mistaken .  I tried to sell the stuff back in the 80's. It was one of those pyramid deals where you buy the swill , er. . .   supplement , and hawk it to your friends and family and get them to do likewise . It was a good way to clear your calendar .

I got the stuff from Tony McDaniels . " Man you can make so much money off this" he says to me . "Plus if you use it you can lose a ton." Right . I mighta weighed 150 at the time .

Awful . The stuff was just terrible and you had to drink it like 3 times a day to the tune of about a half a gallon and I think skip 2 meals . I bought a gallon to start with for $20 , no ,  it was $59 a gallon but you dilute it so it lasted for a couple of days or a week and then you called your suppliers beeper (it was the 80's) to get some more . Tony didn't get a second call . I don't think I sold any of the stuff but a couple of friends from back in the day wont respond to friend requests on Facebook so. . .  maybe I did .

What they were really selling is laziness , not herbs . I think as human beings we have a bent towards the easy way of doing things and so they took advantage of it . Why jog when you can drink herbs ? But they're not alone . I see the ads for all kind of short cut , labor saving devices and services that promise to save you time so you can spend it on more important things . Cue the commercial of dad running through the park flying a kite with junior . Me, I hired a lawn service so Saturday afternoons could be spent in my Lazyboy watching Real Housewives while junior was in his room playing Playstation . Now we're both fat. What did I do with that Herbalife number. . . .

I'm a bit lazy . I admit it . I've been trying to find some scripture that squares with me being that way and that it's ok but all I come up with are words like sluggard , idle and slothful . Sluggard . I like saying the word sluggard but I don't want to be one . Which means I actually need to DO all those get in shape things I want to do , but really don't want to do , you know what I mean . I like the idea of jogging and salads and all , just not enough to do them . "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied". So says Proverbs . sigh . I guess . . . . .

So I'm on a quest to find diligence . And discipline . And motivation . And all those opposite of sluggard things I used to have in my life but that have been covered over like my 6 pack abs (yes, I believe they're still under there) with stuff that shouldn't be there . I think probably I'll have to pray, grit my teeth and do what the writer of Hebrews says "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it ".

Hum . Sounds hard . But then , life's hard .Who's with me?

Save The Ta-Ta's

        I've never liked breasts . I know I know, I'm an idiot . Big, small, stark white or golden brown I was never attracted . I do however , fancy myself a leg man , the lower half to be exact . Don't get me wrong , thighs are nice but sometimes there can be a little too much fat and depending on the situation can be a bit hard to hold onto . But the leg is perfect size and shape . Not normal in America but there you go . Plus , really , when it comes right down to it , I don't even LIKE chicken .

        A pair of breasts I DO like  belong to my wife . One of the reasons I married her . Ok , it was the personality , character , intelligence , and loving kindness that wooed me . But those things are hard to see at a hundred yards .

       Someone else saw her breasts this past month . I'm an open kinda guy , I said it was ok . It was her doctor . She even got pictures , something even I don't don't have . A few days later the Dr. said she didn't like the pictures and thought a little poking and prodding were in order . Needle biopsy .

       A-typical . It was kind of a fancy Dr. word that means "Hummm...that doesn't look normal" . Don't you wish they'd learn to talk normal ? It doesn't  mean anything really . "We'd like another sample" .

      Hospitals are a bee hive of activity aren't they ? If you're on the waiting side of the wall it's slow and all but behind those double doors things were hoppin'. So it seemed to me , but I was only back there for a few minutes . Long enough though to see her butt through those hospital gowns they insist you wear . Then off she went to see a lady with a knife . For a sample .

     "We'll let you know , probably in a couple days". I guess things are slower outside the hospital than in . 2 weeks slower . Finally we get a call and the lady says "Mrs Manche , we have the test results back . It says here...."

      I've been thinking about life the last few months . Mine . My families . Others . It's slow . It takes a lifetime to live . Yet it's so fleeting . As a kid the time between January and Christmas was eternity but as a grown up those repetitive holiday song barely go away before they are back again . Where did the time go and what did I do with it ? Did anything I did this year mean something? I was thinking I have a lot of talent . And ability . Gifts that God gave me to serve him and the people He loves . I don't know , maybe I did serve and just don't remember . What a waste if I didn't . My time is limited . So is yours .

        " Cancer . You have cancer Mrs. Manche ".

       Some of us have less than we thought . Though that's not the case with us , thank you Jesus . For now . We caught it early and it's small and they make it out to not be a big deal . Still . Cancer . It's a scary thing but what scares me more I think is not the dying , whenever that is , but the living and how well did I do it . Did I love God with my whole heart ? Did I care for my wife and kids like they were a precious treasure ? Did I love my neighbor as myself ? I gotta say...only sorta .

         Time . We only have so much . Then we don't .