Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Big Five Oh-noooo . . . .

Not sure what this means but everything I see in the antique store seems to be the same stuff we had in our house growing up . Probably I'm gonna see this more . I'm going to live to be 100.

I went to the antiques mall last month . We were visiting family in Louisville to celebrate my brothers 40th birthday and we decided to hit up the antique shop . The antique shops in northern towns seem to have more good stuff than the ones back home . I think because it's the stuff grandparents  unload before packing up Buick and moving to Tuscon or St. Pete . The stuff you find down here in Florida is that touristy kitsch grandma bought once she got down here but is now on a shelf in a run down shop on main street . So the aqua place setting for eight with dolphins in the center and matching cups sit behind the hazy antique windows collecting dust because Myrtle kicked the bucket and Frank has moved in with that tart 3 doors down . She has her own kitch . That's what I heard anyway .

Flea markets for me are more fun than Antique shops. I want to say it's because there is more to look at but in all honesty it's because of the food there . It's just like the stuff you get at the fair when it comes to town . Deep fried and covered in sugar or sauce without an ounce of some ingredient that might be called good for you . The flea market in Waldo has the doughnut guy that makes mini baby doughnuts to order for you . He's got this machine that squirts out the dough (12 baby doughnuts) onto a little mini river of oil and as the dough floats down it changes to golden brown and gets flipped by an cute little arm into a basket and immediately gets doused with glaze or powdered sugar or chocolate or cinnamon and MY GOSH why am I typing this ? I'm going into a  glucose spasm ! Sorry . I'm dieting .

 I've found that pawing through other peoples cast offs is a cheap date we both enjoy . My one and only and I love to go to the flea market or antique shop but mostly it's from the yard sale we seem to come home with something . A piece of furniture , books , a blender . Pants . Whoa there big boy . Never pants . I just can't wear something someone mighta peed in . Toys are an abundant item . Little junior grows up ya know . We used to Christmas shop for the kids at yard sales and what's sweet is finding someone who's kid is a couple years older than yours and crashing their yard sale each year. You get age appropriate stuff for like 3 cents on the dollar and with a little bleach it's as good as new . And if you have boys you can skip the bleach !

Terri always goes with something in mind while I'm just content to browse . She seems to like picture frames and glasses . The drinking kind . She's asked me over the years to make a frame or three and I grunt like the neanderthal I am and whack something out that would embarrass the kids in ninth grade shop class so she's gone to look elsewhere . She's found some nice ones though . She has a good eye . She bought some drinking glasses at the last stop , tall and kinda rainbow colored . I took one out of the cupboard and had a glass of milk with my . . .uuuhh . . .err . . . lettuce .
"Who used one of the new glasses?"
"I did . Why?"
"Wha . . .You can't use those . Y'all broke all the others!"
"Broke what? What others?"
"The ones we bought at Target . We had 16 of 'em and now we're down to 2 ."
"So these cups are like the towels hanging in the bathroom ? They only look like you should use them but you can't . 'Cause they match ."
"Exactly ."
Exactly .

Cast Iron skillet . I guess that is something I always look for . I don't know where it came from but I've had this fascination with all things cast iron of late . I guess since I'm becoming old I'm developing a love for things old fashiony . Read : things older than me ! We had a cast iron skillet for years in the back of the cupboard and never used it but somewhere along the way Terri pulled it out and we've never looked back . The thing is indestructible . It looks so industrial and they last forever . Every time I read a western and a cowboy  throws a T-bone in a cast iron skillet over a camp fire I get weak in the knees . I'm looking for one with the ridges in it so when you cook a steak it gives you those grill marks . Awesome . I have a 12 inch and a 6 inch. I'll cook bacon in the 12 and get the 6 real hot , put in some bacon grease and crack a couple eggs in it and watch as they practically leap out of the pan . I brown 'em up good and slide them out on a plate with the bacon , Texas toast and a mess of cheese grits and wash it down with a cup of coffee from the cast iron kettle . That , is how you do breakfast !

Most every flea market or antique shop has a hand full of them and almost without exception they look like they need to be sand blasted ! I mean they're rusted and dirty , old and worn out  and some I swear look like they still have meat particles left in them . I'm wondering if they are really trying to sell them or if they're just there to give an old timey feel to the store . Or stall , depending on where you're shopping . But you can sand blast cast iron so no matter how bad it looks ,  how ugly and worn and out of date out it seems , it has real value under the aged exterior . It may be old , but it's got plenty of life left . An awesome weapon in the kitchen arsenal .

Speaking of old and worn out . . .  I turn 50 this weekend . I know right ? I look , what , 38 ? Clean living and Krispy Kreme's . It's so funny 'cause I'll catch a glimpse in the mirror for a split second and I look like I might have 20 years ago but when the steam clears the old guy is back . We all think we are younger than we are sometimes don't we ? But I go through the day choosing to think I look like the 30 year old and can do things my 30 year old self could do based on a foggy glimpse .It's the equivalent of putting my fingers in my ears and going " la la la la " but they say you are as young as you think you are so who knows . I do know I'm not what I once was , the years adding weight , aches , pains and taking away hair and memory . And I'm only half way . Some day's I feel like a flea market skillet with a bit too much rust and maybe a meat particle or two here and there and in need of a good scrubbing . Still valuable though . Still usable . Still have a place in the kitchen of life . Thank God . Thank God He made me out of tough stuff and seasoned me well for use in His kitchen . I hope I'll be found to not be one of the too many cooks in the kitchen but instead be the instrument he uses to cook up life for generations to come .

So I'm on to the next 50 . . . y'all coming ?



















Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Fire

Top caveman discovery  , quick . Ok , right, you saw the title so yeah , fire was the first thing to come to my mind too . Well full disclosure here , it was second  but since it's a christian blog I wasn't going to say sex came to mind first but there it is . I'm a Neanderthal . Sue me . If I have been a cave woman the answer would be curtains .

My first experience with flame was on my first birthday . Dad smoked so I'd seen fire before . He pulled the magic paper sticks from his pocket and flicked his wrist and fire would appear . Pretty . But he was 6 feet tall and I was only about a foot , so I never got up close and personal with it until my birthday . Mom set me on the table in front of a cake and grabbed the Kodak . I didn't know what it was (the cake) 'cause it was my first birthday so I touched it . Tasty . There was a stick mashed into the middle of the cake and dad did his wrist flicking thing and the fire touched the stick and it was on fire too ! Oooo. . . pretty . As the pictures tell it this smiling baby reached out to touch the pretty which turned out to be hot and apparently fairly painful . I often get miffed at parents who film little junior rolling his trike off a cliff and just as he's going over they drop the camera and run screaming and all we really end up with is a shot of a patch of dandelions with crying in the background . This is what they send to Americas Funniest Videos ? Kudos to mom and dad for sticking with the camera .

Boys like fire don't they? Something mystical and magical and powerful about it that must be innate in boys (and men too) that draws us. Anytime we do a bonfire or camp fire the boys want to toss in sticks , paper and anything else that might be flammable in the fire and stir it around while the girls are standing at the edges swishing away the smoke . We love the smell of it in our clothes after something like that and if we get soot on out faces all the better . Don't get me wrong, girls like fire too but more along the line of candles at dinner and rose petals and  candles in the bedroom . There's a story I'm not allowed to tell of a couple whose bed caught on fire when a cand. . . . and I'm not allowed to tell . 

I found out this summer that fire makes noise , apparently loud enough to wake a whole island of campers and keep 'em up all night . I'm no rugged outdoors-man but often I long for the good old days of the dust covered and weary cowboy laying on his bed roll next to the fire with the metal coffee pot hanging over it on a stick . The sound of a harmonica softly breaks the silence as he gazes up at a sky so full of stars it's almost too bright , and he wonders to himself how in the world his horse learned to play the harmonica . He lays back , his head on a rock and with the brim of his 10 gallon hat pulled down over his forehead he begins to dream of bacon and eggs cooking over that same fire in a cast iron skillet . Zzzz . . . .

Not that I've ever camped like this . It's just how I imagine real camping . I do like to sleep under the stars tho and I usually bring a hammock to string between 2 trees . Not a bed roll but close enough and I laid there this summer staring up at a star filled Maine sky and gave thanks to God for so much and He spoke to me , I'm almost certain of this . He said something along the line of "Mark, you shoulda brought bug spray". Most people imagine the silence of the woods as being refreshing and a thing of wonder but I can tell you from experience that it only enhances the sounds of the thousand mosquitoes feasting on the succulent skin of the dude dumb enough to sleep in the woods . A fella dumb enough to sleep (ha) in a string hammock so they could get at both sides . So I got up and started a camp fire and sat around it for 6 hours feeling only slightly more miserable that the campers in tents wondering what idiot is up at 2 in the morning making fire . They're just lucky I left my horses harmonica in the bag with the bug spray .

As much as I love fire there's one I can't seem to get going . Or if I do it's like burning wet wood , mostly smoke with a small flame and little heat . A Boy Scout of the heart I'm not . I was getting ready to say I long for there to be a fire for God and a fire for life but the truth is I long for not much . I guess mediocrity will do that to you . I don't know where it started but I'd like it to end and for my life to burst into a red hot flame of passion for the important . There is an old song that says "It only takes a spark to get a fire going . . ." but I'm not sure that's true for me . Didn't Paul say to Timothy to fan into flame the gift of God ? How's that work ? I just don't know . I just don't know .

So I end this bit of so called writing in need of advice .Where would you go or what would you do ? How do you handle the dull gray days of life that seem to go on without the heat and light of the love of God ? Anybody? Anybody? Stumbling indeed . . . .




Sunday, August 18, 2013

Walk

I had a friend once . . . I think it was back in the 70's. Yeaahhh . That was a nice day .

The 70's were great weren't they ? Probably most of you don't remember them because you are too young or you were stoned through most of 'em . I don't remember much of them but I pin most of that on painting with industrial coatings for 20 years without wearing a mask . Warning labels schmorning labels . I do remember corduroy bell bottoms and long hair and rock music , none of which I was allowed to have . Danged  Baptists . I woulda made a great hippie .I did have one of those 'Keep on Truckin' t-shirts , the one with the guy taking the long step forward . It was sorta hippie-ish though I don't know why .

I went swimming in the summer with my friend back then , maybe 1978 , in a pond about the size of the parking lot of your local Dollar General . More of a pool of water . Not so big and sorta green , the kind of place they wont let you swim in now a days because you'll get some flesh eating amoeba . Where were flesh eating amoebas  back in the 70's ? And peanut allergies ? Did you ever meet someone with a peanut allergy in the 70"s ? I think as we've progressed  medically and are living longer God has had to find new ways to kill us off . It's a working theory . . . .

"Cannonball !" Is there any other way to get in a lake off a dock ? I feel as though if Joni Earekson had used this approach we'd a never heard of her . That feeling of flying through the air after a long run down the dock and you lift and you tuck and 'SPAAA . . . LOOSH'! Awesome . And you come up and yell 'yeah' and claim to have had the highest splash but really , how did we know ?  The surprise for me this day was how warm the water was . It was like when you pee in the pool and you feel the water turn warm around you and you'd never admit it to anyone but it kinda feels nice and it gross but you know it's true . Well when the whole pond is like that it's not so neat a feeling and almost a disappointment . In the middle of July escaping the heat was the goal , not being engulfed by it . But it was what we had and , you know, When in Rome . . .

I was in church last week and I was actually trackin' for once (re: paint fume comment above) . It was our 25th anniversary at the Vineyard and we sang some songs from a ways back , one of which was Lord Light The Fire Again and it really touched me . It reminded me of a better time , a time when I cared about God and what He thought and I actually did some of the stuff in the bible . At the end of the pastors speech his wife got up and asked if there were some who might need their fire lit again . Would you like to get some prayer . I said yes , I needed that and so I proceeded to . . . walk out the door and go to lunch .

I've been thinking about this this week . I talked to my wife . She said she wanted to go get prayer too but followed my lead out the door . It made me sad to hear this . We think our decision don't matter . . .  .  My thoughts brought me back to swimming in this pond of lukewarm water . Of how at my take off into the air I was bracing for cool relief on a summers day only to be disappointed by the warmth of stagnant water . I am stagnant water , lukewarm , a product of doing almost nothing . And mostly , not refreshing . In particular to my Dad . Woe is me and to all I meet . Well, that sounds kind of harsh but just think of how I could have refreshed those around me if I'd have been letting the cool water of the living God flow through me like I should have . Such a disappointment .

I should have walked . Walked forward with my leg stuck way out in front of me like the Keep on Truckin' guy . Big steps forward towards a refreshing and meaningful life for me and those I meet and touch. I hope I do . Big steps into the pool of living water . . . .




Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Pointing Fingers

Is it called the fore finger 'cause it's forth in line?

Funny . I looked at my hand and it was the second finger because when someone tells you to look at your hand you look at the top . That would be the hairy side men . But if I ask you to count to five you flip it over and you count from your pinky over don't you . And it is the forth , but , if you count to ten you start on the left hand thumb and go to the right in which case the fore finger is the ninth finger and nine is an interesting number . It's the number at which I  realize how many donuts I've just eaten out of the box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts  and how I may as well go for the whole dozen  then hide the empty box from the  family because, well , I just ate a dozen donuts . . . and I have no idea what all that had to do with my original thought which was "Wow that's a huge booger on my fore finger" and that " that's mostly what I use this finger for " . Well , that and shaking hands .

"There's the guy I was telling you about" the wife says .
"Which one?"
"In the green " she whispers intently . ''And flip flops . Buffets should have a limit . . .''.
"Oh , with receding  hair?" he ask as he points to the man .With a sushing sound and ninja reflexes she knocks his hand down and with a whisper that's really a shout (you men know what I'm talking about) says "Don't point Harvey . It's rude!"
''Yikes and ok Myrtle. For gosh sakes I just wanted to be sure who it is we're about to gossip about'' . Their hearing aids musta been turned down . It wasn't gossip . I heard them fine . . .

We have gone and are going through a rough patch these last 3 months or so . After a diagnosis of breast cancer in January Terri has had 4 surgeries to remove the cancer and clean things up . She is , thank you Jesus , now cancer free .  That is a lot to go through and while not a brain transplant , 4 times on the operating table will suck the life out of you . My poor wife .

 And all the poorer because of me I'm afraid . When people have asked me about her I say something along the line of "she's handling it well " or " in a little pain " or " she's real tired . . . but things are ok ". I think I've tried to minimize it because it wasn't brain surgery . And maybe worse , social media world that we live in , people don't get a chance to ask because I post something on Facebook .  And I can tell you if the person posting is a certain husband you probably should call the wife or daughter to get the real story . A 50 word blurb on Facebook is a poor substitute for conversation . I have done her a disservice I think . The truth is , she's flat worn out . So tired .

We were having a conversation in bed the other night . I always assumed those long stretches of silence meant the convo was over but she has this gift of being able to know right when I'm falling asleep to say something else . " Nobody has called ".  zzz . . ." whaa . . .?"  She punches my shoulder . " You never listen . How come nobody called to check on us?" Because your husband's been telling everyone you're doing fine ."Joan called" I reminded , though that was 2 weeks ago . I rolled over after another period of silence thinking of sleep . Then I was thinking about why no one called . I pondered this because I hadn't noticed . I wondered if she felt hurt . It made me upset as I thought about it and I wanted  to point a finger at someone and say "What gives . Not even a call" ?

My mom always said that when you point a finger at someone there are three pointed back at you . Because I had the IQ of a sack of hammers it took me a while to get this . Point you finger and look at your hand . Uh-huh . Like I said it took me a while .

So I looked at the fingers pointing back at me . And here is what those three fingers were telling me the next morning :
- When people ask how it's going I should be aware enough of my own life and that of my family to tell them whats up .
- Tell them the truth . Mostly I tell it like it is if you ask but sometimes gloss over hardship to make it sound like I can handle things even when I can't . We don't really want to burden others do we ? But most folks ask for a reason . They genuinely care and want to help .
- Don't just go to church .  Be church . We haven't been to home group in over a year . That's where the relationships are . That's where things get done .We're just not connected like we used to be .
- Just do something . We've had a few people say 'If you need anything. . . . ' or ' If we can do something just ask  . . .' which is great and something I say all the time and we all really mean it but I'm finding those in need don't usually ask . They're embarrassed . They don't want to be a burden . They don't want to put you out . So just show up and mow their yard or grab their kids for a play date . Make dinner . Come over and fold laundry together . You get the idea .
- MAKE A PHONE CALL !  . I'm the champion of "I was gonna call . . ." Even 2 minutes makes a difference . A text , email or Facebook post is almost as good . It feels good to know you are thought of .
- Ask around for people in need . Seek people out . Some can use what you've got .
-Mostly I learned you should always ask the wife .

I could go on . I want to be better . I'm not really mad at anyone . Disappointed , maybe a little but at no one in particular . I understand and honestly I may be my own worst enemy . Maybe it just getting to the point where people are too busy and too spread out to be able to connect . Maybe I'm too rapped up in my own American dream to care about yours . I feel it's all too true about me .

sigh . . . stumbling indeed . . . .


Friday, March 29, 2013

Good Friday

Is 'good' a strong enough word to use on Good Friday ?

Growing up I guess I never paid attention to Good Friday except that we got the day off from school so in my mind it WAS a good Friday ! I was always grateful to God for His timing and having all this go down on Friday instead of , say , Tuesday . Good Tuesday and then back to school . Or Work . I'd like to think the three day weekend was part of the plan .

We are cat people . Well , really , kitten people as we don't have much use for them past the first 8 months . They're just so cute in that box the kid's holding at the Publix front door . "Free kittens mister" he says with this sad look in his eyes . "My mom wont let us keep 'em on account of my dad lost his job and she has eye cancer and can't look after them and my sister ran away 'cause we have no food and . . . " "Alright stop . I'll take . . . 2" . sucker .

Dummy . We have 5 kids and each one needs to 'have their own' so I had to go back and get 3 more because it's 'only fair'. I shoulda given 'em the life's not fair speech but there you go . I like cats so I didn't fight it .

Cats are sorta disposable aren't they? We've had bunches over time and they just disappear after a few years . We've taken a couple to the vet in a moment of weakness but mostly if they get sick they wander off and die . I guess . It sounds heartless and fairly irresponsible (sounds ?!?) but my granny used to put 'em in a sack with a brick and toss 'em in the pond so I like to think I've evolved .

It's not a good Friday for one of our cats . I'm going to take it to be put down . He's been sickly for quite a while and he's to the point of being disgusting . He sneezes snot all over the place , he pulls out his hair , doesn't clean himself and he stinks . He's really gross but he's a lover . He wants so bad to be a lap cat but it's like eeeww when he jumps up in your lap .

 I was raking the lawn this morning and he kept coming by and rubbing up against my leg and meowing , wanting a scratch and a rub and a little love . Most of the time he ignores me like all cats until he wants something and then it's purring and the lovey dovey treatment . But he's gross and looking down at him in all his grossness I said you gotta go . I felt bad . He didn't deserve this . He deserved better care . Truth is I don't care . Ouch . I am a small man .

As I contemplated this I realized what day it was . Good Friday . A day when Someone who didn't deserve to die was put down . A day when God looked down at a gross and hairless and stinky humanity and had mercy . At a people who occasionally come around , for a scratch , and a pat and more food in a bowl , and He had mercy . He didn't put me down!  He put His Son down .

Then He raised me up .

It's not Good Friday .

It's Great Friday !





Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Things I Love

My mom's cat died this week . Or last . We're not sure . The smell appeared this week so I'm guessing it met it's demise last week . She doesn't listens to me . I told her you can only keep a cat in your trunk for so long .

I had a cat that I really loved when I was a kid . Tiger Paws . More than his feet looked like a tiger so I'm not sure why only his paws got the credit but there you go . Moms doing . Probably because when she threw him in the trunk and slammed the lid on his legs that's all that was showing . Mom has a way with animals .

Mr. Howard lived next door and had a dog named Brutus who chased Tiger Paws up a tree one day and commenced to camp out at the base of the tree until his meal came down . It was a long wait . After 3 days Mr. Howard got tired of the kid next door crying and saying "here kitty kitty" so he called someone . Turns out the fire Department doesn't rescue cats after all , no matter what the children's books tell you . He called a tree service . Perhaps if I'd been calling "Tiger Paws" instead of kitty kitty we could have avoided this whole episode . I loved that cat .

I loved Andrea Palmer too . She was my first kiss , behind the shed . We started dating in 3rd grade and made it to 5th grade before she called it off  when she found out Tommy Billings had hair on his chest . Loser . If she could only see me now . I have mine braided ! Still , first love . . . .

I love Lou Fortier . My best friend from a long long time ago and a galaxy far far away . We met at church and have been fast friends ever since . Not sure why he liked me but I chose him on account of he had a car , a Mustang . Don't get all excited . It was brown and was from the mid 70's , not Mustangs finest hour . And it was haunted which was awesome .  It moaned . Maybe because it was brown and from the mid 70's . No moaning about Lou though - the most best friend ever .

I love music . I put my Ipod on shuffle today and was surprised at all the different kinds of stuff on there . I think that's called eclectic . Of everything I heard today it's the instrumental stuff that gets me going , I think because I fill in my own words or thoughts . I play along with my air guitar , keyboard or drums and look . . .  ridiculous . Still . I missed my calling .

The blog isn't long enough to tell you all the reasons I love my wife . Suffice it to say she's the air in my balloon , the jelly in my doughnut and the varooooom in my motor . Might be good if I told her some of this stuff .

I so love my kids and would be happy to live with any one of them in my later years when I'm too frail and need help going to the bathroom .

I love doughnuts and pastries and cupcakes . Did I mention doughnuts ?

I love my bible . My in-laws gave it to me back in the 80's and for a book that is as little used as it is it sure is tattered . Lots of yellow highlighted things and underlined truths . Do you find it hard to understand in some places? I'm a bit ashamed to say after all these years I'm far from a scholar and sometimes barely a novice . A lot of life seems at odds with some of the things I read and being of smallish mind I ache over what is truth . I so want to know . So I keep reading .

This is the point where I'm supposed to say I love God most of all , last paragraph and all . And I do but I'm all too aware of my own foibles and short comings and so sometimes I wonder . Is it enough ? Do I put out ? Love Him with the abandon He is due ? Nah . But I try and hope to hear one day "Well done Good and faithful servant" and know He means it . That tattered book I have says He loves me . Always did . Always will . I love that about Him . My prayer is that on my final day , when I breath my last and I find myself in His presence I can say "I loved You so much , with all my heart " and He'll say "Yeah, you did! C'mon , lets go get a doughnut"!















Monday, February 25, 2013

Fatty

Walking up to the library today I saw my reflection and began to hum the "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down" song . Fabulous .  Now even my subconscious knows I'm fat .

"Lose weight now! Ask me how!" Herbalife used to say that . Maybe they still do . They're a weight loss supplement company . Herbs I would guess . Back in the 1800's they called it snake oil if I'm not mistaken .  I tried to sell the stuff back in the 80's. It was one of those pyramid deals where you buy the swill , er. . .   supplement , and hawk it to your friends and family and get them to do likewise . It was a good way to clear your calendar .

I got the stuff from Tony McDaniels . " Man you can make so much money off this" he says to me . "Plus if you use it you can lose a ton." Right . I mighta weighed 150 at the time .

Awful . The stuff was just terrible and you had to drink it like 3 times a day to the tune of about a half a gallon and I think skip 2 meals . I bought a gallon to start with for $20 , no ,  it was $59 a gallon but you dilute it so it lasted for a couple of days or a week and then you called your suppliers beeper (it was the 80's) to get some more . Tony didn't get a second call . I don't think I sold any of the stuff but a couple of friends from back in the day wont respond to friend requests on Facebook so. . .  maybe I did .

What they were really selling is laziness , not herbs . I think as human beings we have a bent towards the easy way of doing things and so they took advantage of it . Why jog when you can drink herbs ? But they're not alone . I see the ads for all kind of short cut , labor saving devices and services that promise to save you time so you can spend it on more important things . Cue the commercial of dad running through the park flying a kite with junior . Me, I hired a lawn service so Saturday afternoons could be spent in my Lazyboy watching Real Housewives while junior was in his room playing Playstation . Now we're both fat. What did I do with that Herbalife number. . . .

I'm a bit lazy . I admit it . I've been trying to find some scripture that squares with me being that way and that it's ok but all I come up with are words like sluggard , idle and slothful . Sluggard . I like saying the word sluggard but I don't want to be one . Which means I actually need to DO all those get in shape things I want to do , but really don't want to do , you know what I mean . I like the idea of jogging and salads and all , just not enough to do them . "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied". So says Proverbs . sigh . I guess . . . . .

So I'm on a quest to find diligence . And discipline . And motivation . And all those opposite of sluggard things I used to have in my life but that have been covered over like my 6 pack abs (yes, I believe they're still under there) with stuff that shouldn't be there . I think probably I'll have to pray, grit my teeth and do what the writer of Hebrews says "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it ".

Hum . Sounds hard . But then , life's hard .Who's with me?





Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Save The Ta-Ta's

        I've never liked breasts . I know I know, I'm an idiot . Big, small, stark white or golden brown I was never attracted . I do however , fancy myself a leg man , the lower half to be exact . Don't get me wrong , thighs are nice but sometimes there can be a little too much fat and depending on the situation can be a bit hard to hold onto . But the leg is perfect size and shape . Not normal in America but there you go . Plus , really , when it comes right down to it , I don't even LIKE chicken .

        A pair of breasts I DO like  belong to my wife . One of the reasons I married her . Ok , it was the personality , character , intelligence , and loving kindness that wooed me . But those things are hard to see at a hundred yards .

       Someone else saw her breasts this past month . I'm an open kinda guy , I said it was ok . It was her doctor . She even got pictures , something even I don't don't have . A few days later the Dr. said she didn't like the pictures and thought a little poking and prodding were in order . Needle biopsy .

       A-typical . It was kind of a fancy Dr. word that means "Hummm...that doesn't look normal" . Don't you wish they'd learn to talk normal ? It doesn't  mean anything really . "We'd like another sample" .

      Hospitals are a bee hive of activity aren't they ? If you're on the waiting side of the wall it's slow and all but behind those double doors things were hoppin'. So it seemed to me , but I was only back there for a few minutes . Long enough though to see her butt through those hospital gowns they insist you wear . Then off she went to see a lady with a knife . For a sample .

     "We'll let you know , probably in a couple days". I guess things are slower outside the hospital than in . 2 weeks slower . Finally we get a call and the lady says "Mrs Manche , we have the test results back . It says here...."

      I've been thinking about life the last few months . Mine . My families . Others . It's slow . It takes a lifetime to live . Yet it's so fleeting . As a kid the time between January and Christmas was eternity but as a grown up those repetitive holiday song barely go away before they are back again . Where did the time go and what did I do with it ? Did anything I did this year mean something? I was thinking I have a lot of talent . And ability . Gifts that God gave me to serve him and the people He loves . I don't know , maybe I did serve and just don't remember . What a waste if I didn't . My time is limited . So is yours .

        " Cancer . You have cancer Mrs. Manche ".

       Some of us have less than we thought . Though that's not the case with us , thank you Jesus . For now . We caught it early and it's small and they make it out to not be a big deal . Still . Cancer . It's a scary thing but what scares me more I think is not the dying , whenever that is , but the living and how well did I do it . Did I love God with my whole heart ? Did I care for my wife and kids like they were a precious treasure ? Did I love my neighbor as myself ? I gotta say...only sorta .

         Time . We only have so much . Then we don't .