Tool Man

"What time is it?....Tool time! And here he is, Tim the Toooool Maaaaan Taylor!" Didn't you love that show? So funny and always had a good point. I think my marriage is better for it. "You can learn a lot from a dummy". I could so relate to the tool angle of the show. And really, what guy can't because we all love our tools. Doesn't matter if it's a saw and hammer or iphone and a laptop, we gotta have 'em, bigger and better and "more power". I tell people I got into construction because I wanted to buy tools. I say it with a smile but on some level it's the truth.

My dad had some nice tools but as kids we played with them and lost them. Criminal. I'm a little obsessive compulsive. A couple of years ago I bought a new set of pliers and wrenches so the grips would match. And they're all hung nice and neat on my pegboard. According to size. With the outline drawn around them. Mr. Monk would be proud. I was looking in a wood working magazine years ago and saw the absolute best tools. This man had this amazing little shop in his back yard with all the tools and it was set up so perfectly. He had a little office and behind his desk, hung on the wall were all these old tools from the 1800's or early 1900's. Antiques. But they were beautiful. They had that solid, rugged look of tools meant to last no matter how much or how hard the use. Rusted, dirty and scarred from years of good use. They were quality. They were of such value. I have one tool like that, an old pipe wrench about 90 years old. Some day I'm going to have a wall to hang it on. And others like it

We went to a little college reunion this weekend to see people we hadn't seen in over 20 years. I was a little nervous. Afraid I wouldn't know what to say. Afraid I wouldn't measure up. (I don't but we don't have to tell them that. I told 'em I was a surgeon.). They went to college and spent 4 years learning the knowledge and wisdom of the ancients, fell in love with their sweetheart, got married, got a high dollar job, moved to a dream home with their 2.5 children and they ride in the lead car at the 4th of July parade every year. Me? Not so much. I followed the "make every mistake" path. Isn't that how we imagine things though,some times? The truth is, nobody has a straight path. Between being a senior and a senior citizen there's this thing called life, full of twists and turns, dead ends and wrecks. A lot of beauty too! It's just that the beauty is all we think there is when we leave college.

It's nice to see my friends lives haven't been perfect. That sounds bad doesn't it? Nobody wants to hear of bad things in others lives and I ache when I hear of someones misfortune or hardship. I guess it some how makes me feel...normal? Truth is life is hard and we all endure disappointment and hardship. Some by Gods design, some because we reap what we sow. Some caused by others. Some because "It rains on the just and the unjust". What inspires me though is to see my Dad in those situations. He is so good. As I talked to my brothers and sisters this weekend, about the ups and downs of life, I saw Him. His work. His tireless devotion. their willingness to trust Him. These are such good people and they are loved.

Diane was there. I was so excited to learn she was coming. I remember she was so full of joy and had a spirit of adventure. And she's still got it. She made me feel valuable in college. I am so grateful. She had 2 really nice kids with her. Her husband couldn't make it. Hear he's great. I wished we'd had more time this weekend to connect.

I "re-met" David. I knew him back then but I don't think we said much. Kind of a "hey, hows it goin' " thing. I like David a lot. He's dealt so well with the challenges put before him in life. He's smart and wise has that "go get 'em" attitude. The kind of guy you'd want as a next door neighbor and friend. Dependable and caring. He loves God. And he has 3 boys he raising up and they're going to change their world. I hope we meet again.

My old room mate and his wife, Bruce and Sheila were there. They did so much work to put this event together. They seem good that way. Facilitators and doers. Boy, talk about a curving path through life but they've met every challenge, twist and turn with faith, wisdom and a open heart to what God was doing. They seem to have done so much right. I think their kids will have such an advantage over most in their world. Bruce and Sheila make a difference. Love these folks. I want more.

I was so excited to see Joe and Mary. They laugh at my humor though they're probably glad it was only a 2 day event. You can only take so much. If we do it again next year they'll be rolling their eyes like my wife. They have a good life. They live in Gods country in North Carolina and have 2 children that are blossoming into a beautiful reflection of God. Joe and Mary love God so much I admire them for the faith they displayed through adversity, uncertainty and hardship through the last 20 years. I think Gods got a picture of them in His wallet. Amazing people.

Then there's Cindy Lee. Yikes! What a train wreck she is ! Why, she.... Just kidding. She is so amazing and is precious to me. She has more to do with my walk with Jesus than almost anyone else. In college she had such a love for God and it rubbed off on me. She still has that love. My Dad cares so deeply for her. I can see why. She has weathered the storms (literally) and adversity in her life with with such grit and determination and maturity. She holds onto truth and faith and affects so many people. I think God's proud of her. I am.

Last was Shari. She and her husband Rick (he couldn't make it this weekend) were our closest friends from college. I think of her and I think the word precious. I've seen her face life with an amazing love for God. No matter the battle she cherishes Him. She is wise and strong and faithful. She makes me cry for the same reason God cries. Because she loves Him. He is the apple of her eye. I think she "gets" it. Because of her, I think I'm starting to get it. Precious.

I made a discovery on my drive home. Not all tools are made of steel or plastic. They don't even look like tools. They're people. Made of flesh and blood and spirit, they become tools of precision in the hands of the Master. 20 some odd years ago my Dad took up those tools and began to build and shape a man of God, a man after His own heart. I'm so unworthy. Over the years through all my trials and adversity I've done much to mess his work but He is good and patient and never quits. Have you ever seen tools with dents and scratches? They got that way because the mechanic got frustrated with what he's working on so he beats on it. I think my friends have dents. Sorry. He is so devoted to me.

I just wanted my friends to know I've discovered there is a wall behind a desk in the workshop of my heart and on that wall are some new "old" tools. They're a little older, a little rusty, with the nicks and dings of a life well used. I love that rugged look. Beautiful. I cry and am in awe. Of the love of my Dad. And the love of my friends. And I'm so proud and grateful to have them there. They're called Dianne, David, Bruce and Sheila, Joe and Mary, Cindy Lee and Shari. They are my joy and my treasure. I am so happy that my Dad found them for me again.

the middle

I'm sure this happens to everyone. You get in your car to drive to, say, the mall which is 5 miles away. You back out of the drive and head out, your mind full of thoughts. And all of a sudden you pull into the space at the mall and you kind of wake up and think how did I get here? You know you left, followed the signs, the rules of the road and now you're here. But it's that 5 miles in the middle you can't quite piece together.

I was talking to someone this week and mentioned we've been in our house for 18 years. When we moved in it was to be our "starter" home and we'd move on in 4 or 5 years, on to bigger and better. It' been a long 4 or 5 years. So I have some neighbors who I've met over the last 18 years and have had a conversation or two and have intended to have them over for dinner or dessert but just never got around to doing it. One of those neighbors is moving this month to Alabama and she said "sorry we never got around to having dinner together". I guess she'd thought of the dinner thing too. It made me mad at myself. Some loving neighbor. 18 years and not one offer to dinner. What had I been doing in all that time? I know when she came and I see when she's leaving. It's just those 18 years in the middle I can't quite piece together.

I haven't written in my blog in 2 months because.... I don't have a clue. I wrote the last one and just lost the... what? Desire? Inspiration? I think I just got lost in life, doing what it requires to make it from one day to the next, kind of like being on auto-pilot. And now it's two months later. My brother and I were talking about the blog tonight and it made me think about the 2 months. How did I get to 2 months later? I don't know. It's those 60 days in the middle I can't quite piece together.

This is a note to self. Don't be stuck in the middle. Wake up each day and be out front, leading the charge to make my world a better place. I'd like to do this. I think my DAD would be proud.