World Tour

       I heard God was going to be in St. Pete this past weekend. God? Who knew He had a tour going? This must have been the Florida leg. I wasn't going to go because it cost $275. I knew the economy was weak but how bad is it when God charges $275. I'd always been told salvation was free...

      I was out of work last week (previously mentioned weak economy?) so I spent some time at the church building doing some repairs. Some guy showed up 2 years ago and ripped out some rotten wood and never returned to finish. Amazing. It's no wonder he's out of money and no one calls him back.sigh. My wife's just happy I finally finished something I started.

      Tom came buy while I was working. I love Tom- he's one of the long hairs from the 60's who love Jesus. He said I should come to St. Pete with the other men to see God. He said the money was there for me to go and since I was out of work I should pick up my mat and follow him. I figured how often do you get to see God for free (at least these days) so I went.

      The drive down was nice. Tom can TALK! Lots of stories about the Jesus movement back in the day. I did try to pray a bit during the few quiet moments going down. I didn't want to meet Him cold without have done SOME religious stuff! When I pray I really do try to listen to Him speak to me so I said some stuff and waited. I couldn't wait too long 'cause like I said, Tom likes to talk. I thought I heard Him say "Fart", as in I should. I mean, I had to but how often does God tell you to fart? I never even say the word and here's God saying Fart?I think it was kind of a break the ice in a car full of men thing I think. I didn't but I should have. Then we'd ALL have stories to tell.

      We bunked up at an Episcopal camp ground which was nice. The cabins were nice and the beds were comfy, the food was good (it was all you could eat so the quality wasn't so important) and they had rocking chairs on the porch. If you don't know me, that last part was very important. Still, a little chintzy if you're having God come in don't you think? He said don't worry though. He'd stayed at a Holiday Inn Express so it was all good. Cool.

       We had lots of meetings. You've been to these things - they're terrible for guys with ADHD, why we need the rockers. Lots of stuff said and all good and helpful and all but I was there to see the main act, hear what HE had to say but the warm up acts just kept coming and coming. For THREE days! In the between times they asked us to take our journals and go to a quiet place and pray. Listen. Nod off wasn't in the program but I did a little of that too. I went to the rocking chair every time. I rocked for hours this weekend. I was disappointed though. He never did show up for the meetings

       I'm home now. Some how a better man. It turns out God likes to rock too. He had His chair next to mine on the deck. His was a better chair than mine, it didn't make any noise so I was surprised to learn He was there and that He had said a lot. Things I needed to hear, thing I need to learn a lot more about. Maybe I'll write about it one day. We spent some time on the value thing because He knows I have trouble with that one. I don't think I'm much of a man sometimes. Not valuable. He says we have some work to do on that one but that He's up to the task. He's very nice to me. And very committed. He's a good Dad.

       So keep your eyes open. I don't know how long the tour goes for but if you see it advertised make it a point to go. You wont regret it. And bring a chair. He likes to rock.

Value

      

        When I was in high school I had 2 teachers with cool cars. One guy had a '74 Corvette and the other had a Porsche Turbo something or the other. A cool looking car but it was brown. Who buys a sports car in the color brown? That's like an accountants color. Or teacher. I said I'd have one of those cars when I get older and I'd love to. I'm just not older yet.

         I went to college once, for about 6 years. I only managed to make it to being a junior so I figured maybe school was not for me. I did get a pretty special wife out of the deal though. After I quit I went to work for a builder for a while. "Amazing Builders". I'm sure the name sounded better after a 6-pack. Good guys tho and they knew how to build a house. We built a few big ones on Palm Beach, one that easily over 20,000 sq. feet. Talk about grand. I did the rough carpentry, framing, trusses, form work, etc. so I never got to see the finished house. Well, the inside anyway. I drove by after it was finished. Wow. I said I would live in a place like that when I was older. Again, I'm not older.

          My wife and I have been at odds over a couple of things of late that we're working out. They didn't tell me there would be "working out" stuff in marriage. I just thought it would be sex and....well, sex. But that's relationships. They take work. Sometimes we find that the time it takes to work things out is measured not with a clock but rather a calendar. And that's so hard isn't it? Most things in life can be solved with the right answer right now but the marriage thing or the child thing or the in-law thing is a bit more difficult. For me, some times I get lost in the process and start to feel unimportant. Not valuable. We all get that way don't we? Just nod your head and say yes. It'll make me feel better...

            I have a friend in another city who lost their job. A great worker who just ran out of work. And life has been a struggle for them. He's really down. I hope he'll make it. It's been a terrible year for my business this year and for guys some of our value is tied up in what we do (it shouldn't be) and we feel...less of a man somehow. We can't provide. Protect. Be what a man is supposed to be. And we feel all alone.

           I was thinking about those sports cars and the mansion. We want 'em because they're hot and glitzy and we look good driving them or walking out the front door. I used to fantasize about that stuff all the time I think because I wanted someone to look at me and say he's rich. Or deeper, he's got value. But our worth doesn't come from our stuff or station in life. It comes from God. It just doesn't feel like it sometimes.

         So as you work through life and you hit those spots where marriage, job, money, kids are giving you the business and you feel like a failure on a lot of levels and not worth much, remember God said you are valuable. I can tell you that right now in my life that sounds so hollow and stupidly religious. I hate saying things like that but it's the truth and I gotta keep that ever before me. I want to persevere and win.

        If you would, keep tabs on people who are in a bad way. Love them. Encourage them. They need to know they matter. They need to know that whether they're on the clock or the calendar, you'll be there with them. Just like Jesus.

      

Hidden

       I had a thought come to me today that I'd like to write about. Except I don't remember what it was which has me frustrated with this whole old age thing. That's gotta be it, right? The old pumpkins missing some seeds? I'm also fatter, balder and wake up with more aches and pains than I could have imagined. That's the problem with being 20, you think it'll never happen to you, but just wait. And we ignore the signs. People should be more honest. "Of COURSE that dress makes you look fat!" or "no dear that wasn't the porch, it was your knees making that noise". So I guess I can diet and exercise from the neck down but what to do from the neck up? Sudoku?
        I was at a prayer thingy the other night listening to others pray and I'm just trying to listen. For my Dad. I don't really listen to others much on account of they ain't talking to me. I always laugh when some one says "speak up, we can't hear you". Somebody threw out some scripture and some one else said something which I don't remember (the brain thing again) but some thought came to mind about praying to hear my Dads voice. I don't know how you pray in a group (I don't really like to) but I just get quiet in my own mind and say "what do You want me to ask for" and I wait. I get nothing lots of times but sometimes I'll get a thought and I'll start asking Him about it and before long I have this conversation but then don't want to say it out loud because it's like giving a speech to all the others about what I already talked about. Geez. I'm so messed up....
        Treasure hunt. That's a word Dad gave someone while I was making my speech. When we were through he said to me that God has a treasure hunt for me. He didn't know what it means but he'd like to hunt with me so we're going to meet for coffee and try to figure it out.
        Driving in my van today I was thinking about treasure and how my Dad is a treasure. He surely is but I feel so hollow saying that because my friendship with Him doesn't really reflect that. I'm embarrassed to say I feel as far away from Him as I ever have. I've been in a desert for quite a while now (maybe of my own making) and He just seem....distant. Not real. How do you get to the point that He's not real? I know he is (real) and it's why we still talk but it feels like a one way conversation. I hear He's got a book out so I may go to the library and check it out. Anyway He said to me (I think) "What if everything was gold" as in "streets of gold kind" of thing. Something so common you didn't even notice it anymore. It's still gold, precious and valuable. Just not noticed anymore.
          So maybe that's the treasure hunt - rediscovering the priceless in the mundane. I sure would like to find Him again. To really really love Him again. I'm meeting my friend for coffee tomorrow morning and we'll set off on an adventure to...well, I guess not to a where but to a who. Pray for me. I do so value what you have to say to Him about me. Thanks