I Had Something to Say

I saw a study the other day that confirmed what we all knew: As you get older your mental capacity begins to wane. It said this begins to happen after 40 which is much younger than I'd have imagined. I'm 48 so I guess that explains a lot. That and I have the IQ of a marble.


I was in a bible study the other night. We were talking about Isaiah 58. Did you know that was in there? I musta missed it in all those read through the bible in a year programs. Oh wait. I never DID do those. Why I didn't make it as a Baptist I think. Anyway, it's a really cool and powerful chapter. Don't wait until you're 48 to find it.

 So we were in this study and I was having a hard time following, partly because I'm a guy with ADD and mostly because I'm 8 years into my diminishing mental capacity. This happens a lot to me so I usually tune out the speaker (it's not on purpose mind you, it just kinda happens) and I begin read and re-read the scripture we're studying, hoping something will make some sense. Aaannd...hoping that the leader wont ask me what I thought about what they just said.

Isaiah 58 is great and during the teaching I was reading and reading and thinking "Wow! There's something here"! and wanting to get that "something" out of it so I could speak up and be profound. Which is wholly out of my realm but hey, this was a bible study and miracles still happen. For 30 minutes I sat there with something on the tip of my brain but I couldn't pull it off. The thoughts didn't jell. man. It would have been good.

Did you ever see Braveheart? One of my most favorite movies for a lot of reasons, one of which is the scene where William Wallace shows up before a battle and rides his horse before his Scottish brothers and gives this impassioned speech. He's loud and passionate and articulate and as he parades before them and speaks the men rise up and cheer and march to battle because they know his words to be true. I love that scene.

As I was reading verses 6-9 of chapter 58 it kept coming to me in some sort of impassioned voice, like from someone who really meant it. In a William Wallace voice:
 ^6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
   to break the chains of injustice,
   get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
   free the oppressed,
   cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
   sharing your food with the hungry,
   inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
   putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
   being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
   and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
   The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
   You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' (The Message)

It, was, great! Except that's not what everyone was talking about. The conversation had morphed (or maybe planned. How would I know. I wasn't listening) into confessing our hang up and bearing each others burdens. I love that and do we need it. Wish I knew how we got there though.

I confess things to people. Maybe too many things to too many people. Which is why nobody calls. I have lots of battles with lots of sins and it feels like it's too overwhelming for someone to listen to. They do because they care and they love me but after a while they stop calling. And I point a finger at no one because I'm the same. I care but I'm too busy with family and work and more than I'd like, keeping up with the Jones'. I care but only to a point, the point where it interferes with my pleasure and comfort. I fear I've become the Jones' and I've found them to be selfish and morally bankrupt. Woe is me.

In those verses He was saying, with His teeth gritted, to pour your life out, give it away for the benefit of those in need. And He said this is not something you do at you convenience or for a short time. This is a lifestyle. Mark, you do it forever. Wow. That's harsh and hard. But here's the payoff. He said when you call out He'll say 'Here I am'. Oh how I've longed to hear Him.

I guess what I had to say to the group but was too dumb to pull together was this: Confess your sins to one another and bear each others burdens. Do this because we must. But be prepared to give your life to those who entrust theirs to you. In the same way Dad passionately ask you to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and give shelter to the homeless, you must give your life in service to those who struggle. To those who need to feel the physical touch of Gods hand. Be in it for the long haul.Because each one of us is precious.

I want to do this. I want to hear him say 'Here I am".