You know what I miss? The Sears Roebuck catalog. 4 lbs. and 500 pages of stuff. Stuff I needed. Hey, what ever happened to Roebuck? I remember checking the mail, walking across the street and pulling open the box and lo and behold there it was, wrapped in that plain brown sleeve. I scooped it up and ran to my room and locked the door and opened to that "special" section. You guys know what I'm talking about. Page after page, posed just so and I couldn't take my eyes off. Nice curves and lines, so beautiful, alluring, strong and so desirable. I'd seen other men with them and I was so jealous and remember vowing someday I would have them. All of them. I loved those Craftsman tools. Still don't have ALL of them. Yet.
Have you ever felt trapped? Not like a bear trap but like in a bad marriage, bad job, bad finances, debilitating sickness? I wonder if Bernie Madoff felt trapped? I bet he did. At some point he had to know it would all come crashing down but sometimes you go so far down the road that you just CAN'T turn around. Too hard. Someone has to turn you around and so they did with him. I've been down that road too only without the money.
I would sit for hours and start with page one and imagine this big house that I'd have and would be sharing it with one of those ladies in the "other" section (which, by the way mom, I never looked at. I only heard about it from my brother) and I would start filling it with everything imaginable, from shoes (yeah, funny I know) to baby cribs to king size beds. I spent hours lusting after the things of this world. Ok. Yes. Every section. I imagined quite a life for myself. The only good thing I got from my imaginings was a beautiful wife. Not from the catalog though. You can't get the best from there. You have to shopping in person. Definitely worth the effort. The rest of the stuff, not so much. Turns out you need money which, by the way, they shoulda mentioned on the first page in bold print.
There's a part of me that wants to be rich. The Sears catalog part. Maybe not rich but well off. And then there's the part that of me that thinks it's a shame to have a bunch of money when others in my life have such great need. I really don't know which one is right. Jesus must know but I think He's busy. Raising money for Joel Osteen.
I love it when somebody I know gets a new car. I like the smell. Or when they get that new plasma tv. The games look great. I keep thinking I'm content with what I have but then someone gets a new something and then I'm not. Think I'll try to surround myself with broke friends. Might work. But I know my heart.
I've never played the lottery. Afraid I might win. Then what?
I am a Christian and I want to act like a christian. Be like Jesus. Walk around talking to my Dad, meeting others needs be it money, healing, encouraging words or an introduction to my amazing Dad. Well, I say I want to but mostly I don't. I do do the right things some but I know I don't do enough. I just finished a book called "Will Jesus Buy Me A Double-Wide" in which is story after story of people who gave up the Sears catalog to help those in need. They make Dad look so good. I cried through the book because I want to do it too.
I don't have much money, barely making it by sometimes. So many things we need but I'm so grateful for what we have. We just always seem to be behind or have just enough and I don't have the time or resources for other people. Including my own family at times. I feel so....trapped. Do you ever feel that way? I chose a life of mediocrity some where along the line and I don't know how or where to start to get on the narrower road. sigh. When I started my business I wanted to take a day a week to paint, build, rake or whatever for some who couldn't. Do it with my kids. And I could have. But I didn't. And I don't. Because in my heart are the many pages of the Sears Roebuck catalog.
been there, still am in many ways. But one day Dad told me to take my hands out of my pockets because I couldn't recieve with my head down and hands jammed deep into my pockets. I think this plays out in many ways.
ReplyDeleteOne way was to start standing up for myself (a.k.a. be a man). This was a very hard adjustment for me and may not be your issue. Another way was look around and take a good inventory of what God has blessed us with. I went trough a way too long time of wanting more (like the Sears catalog. I even had a 'wish list' wedged in my wallet for several years. I don't remember most of what was on the list but I know there was a wrist-watch and cowboy boots and a fancy pocket knife.
One day I took my hands out of my pockets and noticed that I had a lot more than I thought I did (and I don't just mean junk which was in abundance). I had a beautiful and very special wife and children and grandchildren, and friends, and an amazing church family and a Dad (God) that loved me so much more than I loved myself.
Before long my list faded away and I had all I could ask for. The the coolest thing happened; I got MORE! the more I counted my blessings the more I had to count. the more I thanked God for what he was doing the more he did.
I think you are a wonderful man Mark. I count you as a very dear friend. My life is richer having you as a friend. I am also richer when I read your writings. You have a way of being honest and simple that I think is what God looks for in people (especially in men). Most men don't know how to so this as good as you do.
You are a very rich man my friend. Count it up some day. I think you'll forget all about Roebuck.
-g
I've never played the lottery, either. I don't think there is anything wrong with being rich, so long as you are faithful with everything God has given you. I think that God gives some people the gift of being smart business-wise, so that they can afford to be generous. However, I think that God requires all of us to be faithful in giving to those in need.
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