I haven't written in a couple of months . I quit and said I wasn't going to any more because I would come home and look at the blog site and see if anyone had read it . Or better yet , left a comment . I mostly was disappointed . I think because I was needing someone , anyone to like me and think I was. . . smart . So I kept looking for validation . Ha! Smart people use the word validation! I hated this part of me . I know I'm smart , witty , valuable , handsome (well. . .) important and so on and people love me . But sometimes I just don't feel it . And I need to feel it . Do you ever feel that way ?
I miss writing though . Honestly I've not had much to write about or at least haven't been inspired enough to sit here and type . Most good writing come through pain or joy and I've just been numb to either . Not that pain or joy would make my writing good but there you go . I guess it would help if I would talk to Jesus some . I am so far away . In fact I may change the blog title to ' Sitting Around And Being Obstinate With Jesus' . I don't even know if I can put into words where I'm at . Not good for a guy who likes words . sigh . . . . .
Well . . . . that's it . Probably shouldn't have signed back on . Had to try tho . Maybe something will kick in . I would like to at least like to stumble with Jesus again .
You're not alone, Mark. I can't seem to stay focused at all when I'm trying to have a talk with God. I agree that feeling joy or pain gives you something to talk about! Mostly, I just feel blah and have nothing to say on FB. (JW)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your writing Mark here and on FB...so witty. It makes me laugh out loud LOL literally. It is sad you do not value your wit and skill as others do and most certainly as God does. Sometimes we just feel down, no reflection on the person you are right then and I know what you mean about validation, we are human and flawed and never satisfied with what we have but god made us this way and there must be solution, I just don't know it. Just keep on writing especially if it fills a need. I admire your ability to share your open honest opinions. Just my thoughts. (ks)
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