Gods not real

Tigers back. Tiger Woods. You know , I like Tiger. He has it all. Well, I guess that's what he got in trouble for...having them all. He said he was sorry. It's funny. I feel sorry for him. Not because of what he did - he's absolutely on the hook for all he did and will reap a long time of sorrow and hardship because of it. All the sports talk shows I listened to criticized him. Not for his actions so much but other things. He read his speech. Too controlling of the press conference. He wasn't sincere. Really? We know the heart of this man? I don't know...just bugged me.

He said something in his apology I liked. " I convinced myself that the normal rules did not apply to me. I was foolish...it's time for me to start living a life of integrity". Rules don't apply.....hummmm....

I work hard all month long and usually by the end of it I'm really ready to unwind. My pastor's the same way. That's why every last friday of the month we meet at his house and get hammered. I mean wasted. Some fridays our wives show up so we break out the bongs and a big bag of Mother Natures finest! I mean, if you ever want to feel like Jesus get a hold of a Vineyard pastor - they have connections! We can often be found on the couch watching REALLY "R" rated movies. We eat lard right out of the can and wash it down with WHOLE milk! We call up the nursing home and scream all the 4 letter cuss word at old ladies. Last week we went to the park and told children they were ugly and would never amount to anything. Kinda just letting it all out you know? Love those Fridays.

The IRS doesn't come after you you know. I can not pay my taxes and not pay my taxes and they don't seem to mind. Well, for a while. A LONG time after you don't pay your taxes you get a letter. More like a bill. With large penalties and fines. I think that's why they don't come after you right away. The longer the time between when you're supposed to pay and when you finally get the letter, the higher the fines and interest. I've been behind on taxes. I've been behind on the utility bill. I mean I know they're governmentish like, but they don't wait. They come right away and pull the plug. I was late paying my phone bill. They shut me off. Same with the credit card. Not a great money manager. But I have another 50 years to get it right....

" When man starts to sin, God ceases to exist".I don't know who said it but I think it's true. Tiger says he's a Buddhist. I don't know they think of God. Or if there is one. But I think he had some sort of moral compass. I just wonder how a guy who has a beautiful wife and so much of his own stuff that could seemingly satisfy could violate that compass?

I know a guy who loves Jesus who was a pot head. Pot heads for Jesus. I asked him why he felt it was ok to do it. "cause nothing happened". Well, he got stoned. But the ground didn't open up and swallow him. No lightening bolt from the sky. It's because God's not real. It's not like getting wasted or stoned in front of your pastor. He's real. You can see him. Touch him. God's invisible. Not real.

Disclaimer: Before I go any farther I need to say that the whole paragraph about my pastor is false. We do none of that. Just made up. Though we talk about it. Thursdays are better for him......

God's real alright. He just seems not real sometime. Ask anyone who struggles with addiction. Pills, porn or Pabst Blue Ribbon. When the temptation comes you can say, based on previous experience of not getting "caught", "It's ok". You turn God off and do what you do. Don't we all do that some times? I do. A couple of months ago I went to Krispe Kreme and got a dozen hot ones and a quart of milk. Sat in the parking lot and ate them all and was tempted to get another dozen. You can eat doughnuts all day and I don't care. But my Dad told me not to. So I turned Him off. I made Him not real.

God is the IRS. He's quiet. You know about Him. Hear about Him in the news. You know some one who's dealt with Him. Some day though, you're gonna get a letter. We reap what we sow. I'm so thankful for His grace though.Yeah, I'll have to walk through the consequences of my actions. Just like Tiger. But when I open the letter it reads " PAID IN FULL ". Thank you DAD!! He is so kind.

I hope Tiger gets to live that life of integrity. I hope his family can be healed. Mostly though, I hope he gets to meet my DAD some day....

Cowardly who?

I was driving to a job this afternoon, which ,is how I get to most of them. The jobs I mean. Always thought it was cool how the kings or queens back in the day got carried around in those cart thingy's. You know what I'm talking about- like a square box elaborately decorated with poles through the bottom with a guy on each end of the pole, carrying you where ever you want. And you'd recline inside on a bunch of plush pillows as someone fed you grapes(I'd lose the grapes though and replace them with donut holes...on the stem!)That's traveling!
So anyway, I'm driving and I'm thinking. Trying to put thoughts together. My mind is like that kids game called the Memory game. You have all these cards face down and you flip them over one at a time until you find a match. So I drive, flipping thoughts over until something matches.Sometimes something comes up that matches a thought from before but I don't know what I did with the previous thought. So now I have to think about what I thought about before. Sheeesh. No wonder I'm tired when I get home.
The Cowardly Lion. That's the card I flipped. That's what I thought about. Random. Not so much him but what he said in one scene.(1939 was a great year for the movies by the way. Oz, Gone With the Wind,Sherlock Holms,Wurthering Heights, and more...) "I do believe in spooks! I do believe in spooks! I do! I do! I do!". He had his eyes closed tight as he said it over and over. Guess it helps you believe.
I just finished watching "Kingdom of Heaven" with Orlando Bloom. Well not WITH him. (That would be silly. He usually doesn't make it over until Friday.We play canasta with Jerry and Elaine). I mean he was in the movie. I really like movies that are based on some kind of history. Braveheart was a good one too. I think because I watch and see Gods hand in so much history and think like " what if this one decision wasn't made" or this "this one unintended act wasn't done" then the whole history of this event or time period would have changed in a terrible way.
In "Kingdom" there was this kind of fatalism mindset in the people. The Christians and the Muslims. This was set during the crusades. It was sort of like "we'll pray for victory but God's gonna do what He wants".
Flip. Card number two.
You can believe this or not but I prayed once and nothing happened.Yeah. I was stunned too. Lots going on in the middle east at the time so I chalked it up to God being busy. So I prayed again only louder. Zip. As in the heavens were zipped shut. Ok so I wasn't shocked. I wasn't because that's how it is with me it seems. I pray and ask for stuff or just to hear and I get nada. So after a while, sometimes,... a lot of the times, I feel like the characters in Kingdom of Heaven. I'll pray and God's gonna do what He wants.
The guy in the bible I relate to the most I think is the one who's son is being delivered from a demon. Jesus tell the man "Everything is possible for him who believes". And the guy says "I do believe, but help me not to doubt". I am so there with this fellow. Help me not to doubt. My new bumper sticker. I feel so,...I don't even know the word. I do believe but feel like when it comes down to it, I doubt. Like the people in "the Kingdom", I pray for victory but....it could go either way depending on Gods mood.
So here I am so often with challenges or troubles in my life and I think God's going to do what He wants (and He should. He's right). And I find myself, like the cowardly lion, with my eyes shut saying over and over "I do believe, I do believe, I do believe...". Maybe if I say it long enough and loud enough.......