the middle

I'm sure this happens to everyone. You get in your car to drive to, say, the mall which is 5 miles away. You back out of the drive and head out, your mind full of thoughts. And all of a sudden you pull into the space at the mall and you kind of wake up and think how did I get here? You know you left, followed the signs, the rules of the road and now you're here. But it's that 5 miles in the middle you can't quite piece together.

I was talking to someone this week and mentioned we've been in our house for 18 years. When we moved in it was to be our "starter" home and we'd move on in 4 or 5 years, on to bigger and better. It' been a long 4 or 5 years. So I have some neighbors who I've met over the last 18 years and have had a conversation or two and have intended to have them over for dinner or dessert but just never got around to doing it. One of those neighbors is moving this month to Alabama and she said "sorry we never got around to having dinner together". I guess she'd thought of the dinner thing too. It made me mad at myself. Some loving neighbor. 18 years and not one offer to dinner. What had I been doing in all that time? I know when she came and I see when she's leaving. It's just those 18 years in the middle I can't quite piece together.

I haven't written in my blog in 2 months because.... I don't have a clue. I wrote the last one and just lost the... what? Desire? Inspiration? I think I just got lost in life, doing what it requires to make it from one day to the next, kind of like being on auto-pilot. And now it's two months later. My brother and I were talking about the blog tonight and it made me think about the 2 months. How did I get to 2 months later? I don't know. It's those 60 days in the middle I can't quite piece together.

This is a note to self. Don't be stuck in the middle. Wake up each day and be out front, leading the charge to make my world a better place. I'd like to do this. I think my DAD would be proud.