I had a thought come to me today that I'd like to write about. Except I don't remember what it was which has me frustrated with this whole old age thing. That's gotta be it, right? The old pumpkins missing some seeds? I'm also fatter, balder and wake up with more aches and pains than I could have imagined. That's the problem with being 20, you think it'll never happen to you, but just wait. And we ignore the signs. People should be more honest. "Of COURSE that dress makes you look fat!" or "no dear that wasn't the porch, it was your knees making that noise". So I guess I can diet and exercise from the neck down but what to do from the neck up? Sudoku?
I was at a prayer thingy the other night listening to others pray and I'm just trying to listen. For my Dad. I don't really listen to others much on account of they ain't talking to me. I always laugh when some one says "speak up, we can't hear you". Somebody threw out some scripture and some one else said something which I don't remember (the brain thing again) but some thought came to mind about praying to hear my Dads voice. I don't know how you pray in a group (I don't really like to) but I just get quiet in my own mind and say "what do You want me to ask for" and I wait. I get nothing lots of times but sometimes I'll get a thought and I'll start asking Him about it and before long I have this conversation but then don't want to say it out loud because it's like giving a speech to all the others about what I already talked about. Geez. I'm so messed up....
Treasure hunt. That's a word Dad gave someone while I was making my speech. When we were through he said to me that God has a treasure hunt for me. He didn't know what it means but he'd like to hunt with me so we're going to meet for coffee and try to figure it out.
Driving in my van today I was thinking about treasure and how my Dad is a treasure. He surely is but I feel so hollow saying that because my friendship with Him doesn't really reflect that. I'm embarrassed to say I feel as far away from Him as I ever have. I've been in a desert for quite a while now (maybe of my own making) and He just seem....distant. Not real. How do you get to the point that He's not real? I know he is (real) and it's why we still talk but it feels like a one way conversation. I hear He's got a book out so I may go to the library and check it out. Anyway He said to me (I think) "What if everything was gold" as in "streets of gold kind" of thing. Something so common you didn't even notice it anymore. It's still gold, precious and valuable. Just not noticed anymore.
So maybe that's the treasure hunt - rediscovering the priceless in the mundane. I sure would like to find Him again. To really really love Him again. I'm meeting my friend for coffee tomorrow morning and we'll set off on an adventure to...well, I guess not to a where but to a who. Pray for me. I do so value what you have to say to Him about me. Thanks
Treasure hunt & the mundane streets of gold... I like this. There was this science fiction show once that the alien or monster or evil... would hide just outside the corner of your sight. It was always there but your mind refused to see it because it lurked in the shadows of your sight and thoughts. The 'thing' stayed out of sight like camouflage. 'if you can't see me than you can't fight me while I mess with your head.'
ReplyDeleteWhat if dad's treasure was like this? What if He wasn't interested in jumping up and down and all up in your face but stayed just out of your way? What if he is playing a sort of theological hide-n-seek waiting for you to catch a glimpse of Him in the corner of your eye or the edge of your thoughts? What if he was like John Rambo, covered by the muddy wall right in front of you and you can't see him?
This sounds exciting Mark; and opportunity to play treasure hunt with Dad... er, for Dad. Like Where's Waldo maybe!
Keep me informed buddy. I want to know how many times you can spot him on your hunt.
Much love, RaudyG