Gone But . . . Forgotten ?

I can't play music and it's my mom's fault .

We seem to blame others for our short comings don't we? Someone or something . Mom wanted to have us take music lessons as kids. Music as in piano music lessons . That was fine for my sister 'cause she was a girl but I'd have none of it. I wanted to play guitar. The only guy that played the piano that I knew of was Liberace and I knew I wasn't going down THAT road . I wanted the long hair and bell bottom pants and all the girls screaming as I walked out on stage . Man . I woulda been good . . . .

Mom would have none of it so I learned nothing . Now I wish I could play the piano , Liberace or no . I'll be 49 this year and can't even play an ipod ! I should at least try to learn to play the guitar . We have one here at home that I actually pick up and strum the 3 notes I know from time to time . Mostly I find myself picking it up (or a broom, tennis racquet, etc .) and playing air guitar to a favorite song . I've got the moves and rhythm but not the bell bottoms . Or hair .

I was listening the other day to some old Stevie Ray Vaughan , which , is the only kind there is since he's been dead for 22 years . The dude can play some guitar ! I managed to find one of his albums on my ipod and was rocking out at a customers house , strumming my paint extension pole and making that face rockers make when they're jamming out . This is why I close the door when I paint someones bedroom . I got caught once . He flicked his lighter and yelled " FREEBIRD!" sigh. Everybody's a comedian .

I felt a little sad as I was listening to him . It would have so cool to see him in concert . I mean yeah there's Youtube but to be standing in front of the stage having my hair stand on end as the speakers blast away would have been awesome ! But you can't bring 'em back can you . I missed out and like I said, I felt sad .

It got me thinking about my life and whether I've done something worth while . Something that would make someone say 22 years after my death "I wished I'd known him . I wish we could bring him back ". Maybe I have but I'd have to think about it a while . Which is the real shame . I should have done more . Perhaps more of us should have done more for those whom God put in our path . It's never too late . There is a currency called time and maybe it's time I spent it on something other than me . Like I said , I'm only 48 . Not quite half way so I still have time . Time to invest in others , time to shine Jesus' caring , time to reflect His character, His love .

And maybe, 22 years after I'm gone someone will hear my name and say "...yeah, the Jesus guy , right?" That would be nice

I Gotta Pee

When I was in kindergarten I wasn't the brightest bulb . A big ha ha to all of you who just said 'what's changed' . Actually , you're probably right . I must have been pretty dumb though because I ended up at my teachers house for special tutoring . Really , how many kindergartners do you know of who need tutoring? Don't kindergartners have zero knowledge at that point . I had to get tutored to GET to zero . Mom was great about it though . " Heeeyyy....yer almost up to a zero now big boy! Have a Popsicle"! Ya gotta love my mom .

Mrs. Booth was my teacher and she was a sweetheart . I think I was in love with her . Or her hair . It was gigantic . She talked so nice to me and she remembered my name . That's a big deal to kids , the name thing . It's all we have and it felt good when a grown up knew it and used it . It meant we were real .

Mrs. Booth had me come over to her house each week so she could help with what ever dumbness I had about me . What teacher does that anymore? I think she was researching me though . I heard her talking to someone about having the missing link between apes and man . AT her kitchen table ! Of course I didn't get it then , but now . . . .

One time when I was there I became aware of the need to pee but decided to wait a bit and see if she would finish soon . I could wait . I could be patient . Mom always said be polite and be patient with your elders . I bet she didn't have to pee when she came up with this bit of wisdom . I wanted to interrupt but some folks you just have a hard time getting a word in edgewise . I though everyone knew the international signs of immanent peeing . Crossed legs , grabbing your crotch , bending at the waist , grimace on the face . I guess not .

There is also an international sign of relief . THAT one she knew . My momentary relief though was replaced with embarrassment  as I sat there in my wet corduroy pants and a puddle on the floor . I said  I was sorry and all and had tried to be patient but you can't really expect too much from a below zero 5 year old . She was so kind and made no fuss at all . She asked if I was done (I was) and cleaned me up , gave me a cookie , no milk , and we carried on . SHE , was a patient woman . I love you Mrs. Booth .

Have you ever been in the midst of God working on you and it seems to go on forever ? And the word He speaks to you is 'patience' and for a time you're ok with this 'çause He's God and well , who's smarter than Him? And so you do it , being patient that is , but soon find yourself hopping from one foot to another looking for relief and there He is still talking and teaching . You feel like He doesn't know the signs either .

I'm walking through a long stretch in life that requires much patience . I am so grateful My dad is at the helm of this life of mine and I mostly welcome His work . Some days I handle it well because I can see what He sees and I trust Him . A lot of days though I spend grimacing . Honestly a lot of this is my own fault but there are times He's saying 'just hold on' and I try so hard . I want to be a better man .

Some day's though, I just pee .